This Crazy Life

Road Maps

2011-05-26T22:15:00.003-05:00

It's been almost a year since I last blogged.

In the last year...

My divorce was finalized...

... and my ex-husband got engaged to his girlfriend of four months, two months after our divorce was finalized.

My sister and I made up... again. It seems to have stuck more this time. It's been 6 months and we're still talking. Win!

My step-sister and I broke up... technically, I was dumped. We were fine. Went to a Brewer's game together and then *boom* gone. I haven't heard from her in 10 months. Proof that there are no trustworthy people on this planet.

I dated two boys, one for short, one for longer. They were both of the same cut and quality, which is to say, not very high. I have no taste in men... apparently, so I'm taking a break. More, more and more proof that there are no trustworthy people on this planet, including myself.

I went to Costa Rica for a month. I wish I would have spent my time there better. It was beautiful, but I was partially homesick for my puppies and one of the above mistakes most of the time I was away. That doesn't mean that I didn't have a good time. I went zip-lining, twice. I walked suspension bridges. I ran on the beach. I ate rice and beans. It was lovely. It's just slightly tinged with regret.

Now, I'm back. Back in my old life. I work. I spend time with the dogs. I am alone. Almost, all the time. I am unmoored and drifting through this life with no purpose and no hope for the future. I have no one, no idea, no plan to anchor myself to.

If I keep busy, I don't have to think about it that much.

I need... something.

A LIttle Help From My Friends

2010-04-22T20:04:00.003-05:00

I've been sick this week. Trivia last weekend must have gotten to me. On Tuesday, I thought I was just still tired and spring allergies were acting up. By Wednesday, I was kind of miserable.

I tried to go to work this morning. Steph and I were supposed to teach a class all day today together. I didn't want to leave her hanging.

J-boy texted me and asked how I was feeling this morning. I told him I felt like suck.

Two minutes later I got a phone call from the Saint.

It went a lot like this:

Saint: You need to go home.

Me: I'm okay...

Saint: You sound terrible. Go home.

Me: I'm not planning on staying all day...

Saint: I can be there in 15 minutes to drive for Steph.

Me: Actually, I was planning to teach my part this morning...

Saint: Do you hate yourself? Go home. I'll be there in 15 minutes.

Me: Ok, mom.

There is no arguing with the Saint. She orders you home, you go home.

The Saint helped out with the class in the morning and J-boy helped in the afternoon. It's nice that there are people I can count on to pick up the slack so I can stay home and be miserable in peace.

Writing this blog was taxing. I'm going to go lay down now.

Seasons

2010-03-31T22:56:00.003-05:00

I never thought I was one of those people who were affected by the seasons. In fact, I thought that people who claimed that they were affected were full of shit.

Then.

Then, the sun came out. I have spent time outdoors whenever possible since the weather started getting nice. I can't get enough of the sunshine on my skin.

On days when I spend time outside, I'm unreasonably happy.

I thought I was going crazy happy.

I'm pretty sure it's due to the weather.

Who knew?

I stand corrected.

Pimp

2010-03-30T20:50:00.003-05:00

Have you tried Special K's Fruit Crisps?

They are fantastic. They are the closest you are going to get to a Pop-Tart for 100 calories.

Hmmmm... remember Pop-Tarts? No, not really. Sigh.

I keep pimping the Fruit Crisps to everybody I know, cause when you don't get junk food, even junk food adjacent is a happy, delicious thing.

But, seriously, they're really pretty good.

You. Are. Welcome.

Yikes!

2010-03-29T21:36:00.003-05:00

So, about a month ago I got a Facebook friend request from Dude. I didn't really know who he was, but he lives close to me and he works at the car dealership where I get my oil changed. I thought maybe he was the guy I talk to up there, so I accepted the friend request. I thought, why not?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Why not, she thought naively. Bah!

Dude Facebook chats me now. He's sent me his cell number at least six times so that I can "text him."

Did I forget to mention that Dude is married with a two year old son!!!

You know how I know this? It says so on his Facebook profile.

Why would I text a married man? What would we text about?

Even if I didn't get a Tiger Woods/Jesse James vibe from this guy, it would be weird.

Here's the problem:

He works at the place where I get my oil changed. What the hell am I supposed to do about that? I can't unfriend him. I think he'll notice and then "magically" all the oil leaks out of my car and I have to pay for expensive repairs?

I'm not texting him. That's not happening.

I'm doing my best to ignore him.

Boys are so weird.

Bliss... In Donut Form

2010-02-22T09:57:00.003-06:00

There is a treat circle at work that I participate in. Every Monday there is a new treat, red velvet cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, blondies, etc. Some are good, some are excellent, all are welcome.

This morning, Jigglypuff brought in donuts. So, I had a chocolate iced donut. With sprinkles. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've had a donut? Years. It'll be years before I have another one, but holy buckets it was good.

Has anyone ever done a study on the addictive properties of sugar? Because when I put that donut in my mouth, the amount of bliss it brought was a little obscene. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

I'm not bragging.... oh wait, maybe I am.

Dishes

2010-02-18T21:17:00.002-06:00

I hate doing dishes.

I don't know why, I just do. I leave them until they pile up so high it kind of disgusts me or until I run out of utensils to eat with. Then, I finally do the dishes.

I let them pile up this week because every night this week I've looked at them and thought, 'ugh! I can't deal with this tonight!'

And then, when I finally did ALL those horrible dishes tonight, it took less than 15 minutes.

So dumb! Just do it! (Thanks, Nike.)

And yet... right now, I sit here eating pudding with a spatula because I refuse to wash a spoon.

Leopards, their spots and all that jazz...

Invictus

2010-02-16T23:10:00.002-06:00

A friend encouraged me to read this poem today:

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,

I have not winced nor cried aloud,

Under the bludgeonings of chance,

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears,

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years,

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

The captain of my soul.

"Invictus" by William Ernest Henley

Poetry is so underrated.

Concerts and Awesomeness

2010-01-30T10:09:00.003-06:00

Two Mondays ago, Fargo and I went to, what I believe the young kids today are calling a "rock concert." Three Days Grace and Breaking Benjamin played together at the Alliant Center. It was amazing.

Sometimes, words just aren't enough. I wish I could communicate with enough hand gestures and sparkles, so that you could get a sense of it's awesomeness.

Flyleaf was the opening band. We got to the Alliant Center just in time to hear their big song All Around Me. It was a good set and they are definitely a fun, enthusiastic band with a lot of positive energy. It makes me wish that their sound check guys were competent and had arranged for the lead singer's mic to have the appropriate volume. She was drowned out by her band.

Breaking Benjamin went on after Flyleaf. Fargo has seriously fallen in love with this band since seeing them in concert. Don't get me wrong, I like them too, we're definitely going steady (non-exclusively) but I'm going to hold off on buying a ring just yet. If you've never heard of this band before, check out Diary of Jane and I Will Not Bow which are two of my favorite songs from them.

For the first two bands, we sat up in the stadium seating around the floor of the Alliant Center. For Three Days Grace, we decided to venture out onto the floor.

I'm going to be honest here. I didn't realize when Fargo suggested this, that he would want to push us up as close to the stage as we could get. I'm not saying I'm sorry about what happened next. In fact, it's probably better I didn't know or I might not have agreed to go.

The horrible part was waiting for the band to go on. We stood there, packed in like sardines, waiting, waiting, waiting.

Anybody who knows me in real life, knows I'm not super excited about being touched by people I know. I really don't like being touched by strangers. I really, really don't like being touched by sweaty, smelly teenage boys who reek like weed (because they decided what better time to smoke up than when standing in a packed arena and there's no where to go to get away from the smoke. Thanks for that, assholes).

I think Fargo was getting slightly concerned before the music began. I was getting slightly concerned before the music began. I have never been that close to the edge of a panic attack before. I had to really work to calm myself down and not freak. the. fuck. out about all the touching.

But, then.

Then, the music started and all of that melted away. It was (almost) blissful.

I was body slammed into lots of different people many, many times, although Fargo did try to protect me from the worst of it. I was repeatedly elbowed in the back when these bigger girls tried to force their way past us, even though there was no room. And, honestly, I was sort of blocking them. I may or may not have shouted "bitches" at them after they pushed through. I was kicked in the face when some girl body surfed past me.

And yet, it was still pretty much perfect.

It was a mob, united not in violence, but in common love for something. The rhythms of the songs they play cry out for movement, so there is a lot of Three Days Grace on my running mix. But, even when I'm running to it, it doesn't feel quite right. It's not how you're meant to move to it, but listening to it live with hundreds of other people who love the music too, things clicked into place.

I love, love, love this band. I loved, loved, loved this night.

I can't wait to do it again.

A New Year, A New Me

2010-01-01T23:28:00.003-06:00

Finally 2010 is here, 2009 couldn't exit stage left quickly enough.

2009 was a year of disappointment and heartbreak. It was a year of tears and sadness.

About the only positive thing I can remember about 2009 was going to San Antonio. Most everything else in my life was a tumultuous mess.

I have hope that 2010 will be better. Although I'm not really sure how to make that happen. Do you create a plan of action for this sort of thing? I guess, for now, I'll just have to smile, do my best and hope that things will work out.

Wish me luck.

Prank

2009-12-25T22:37:00.003-06:00

Do you ever get the feeling that someone is playing a prank on you?

Either

(1) Someone is having a laugh at my expense by indicating that I'm interested in joining the Yahoo! group "Hot Adult Kinky Webcams" repeatedly

(2) I have coincidentally been spammed four times in the last 24 hours to "confirm my interest" in this particular Yahoo! group

(3) I have deleted the same e-mail four times and it just won't stay dead. It keeps showing back up in my Inbox.

For the record, I'm not interested in participating in Hot Adult Kinky Webcams, no matter how many times Yahoo! is going to email me about it.

Also, if you're the one pranking me, good on you. It was funny. Hilarious even.

Now, stop. Really.

Warping My Mind

2009-12-17T21:47:00.002-06:00

I probably shouldn't admit this. I'll probably come to regret it. But, I suppose, I've already written two whole sentences, which I'm pretty sure is the point of no return.

I read that Chris Henry of the Cincinnati Bengals died yesterday.

My first thought was "Oh. Sad. He was so young," which I think is fairly typical and falls within normal limits.

My second thought, however much it pains me to admit it, was "I'm glad he wasn't on my Fantasy Football team. There's nobody worth picking up anymore."

What is wrong with me? When did this happen?

It's sick and wrong.

Fantasy football has warped my mind.

And so it goes.

Neeeeeeeeerrd!!

2009-12-16T22:48:00.004-06:00

Tonight I,

(1) Bought advanced tickets for the 3D showing of Avatar on Friday night

and

(2) Voted (repeatedly) for my favorite acapella group from "The Sing-Off"

That's right. I'm a nerd. Geek. Dweeb.

Call it whatever your heart desires.

But, I'm going to see Avatar on Friday and Nota is a fucking fantastic acapella group.

So, I'm sorry you can't appreciate things that are awesome.

Like (possibly) Avatar or Nota or me.

What I guess I'm trying to say is, you can suck it.

Orange Glow

2009-12-15T20:56:00.003-06:00

FakeBake Barbie was on my treadmill tonight.

It kind of annoyed me.

Not because I couldn't use the treadmill. I don't run on Tuesday nights.

I just don't want her using my stuff.

Probably left a coat of orange all over it.

Sigh. I know I'm just being silly. She'd only leave a coat of orange on my machine if she spray-fake-baked. I think she actually destroys her skin instead.

Probably shed her diseased skin all over it.

Eww. Hopefully, the Y's disinfectant will take care of that.

Musicality

2009-12-02T21:38:00.002-06:00

I got an iTunes gift card recently, so I spent some time trolling for music online over the weekend.

I considered several different CDs before I actually bought one.

First up, I thought of Fame Monster by Lady Gaga. I definitely want to buy this CD at some point, but I kind of wanted something from an artist I didn't already have.

Next, I considered getting Awake by Skillet. I really like their song Monster, but then I found out they are or maybe were a Christian rock band. Hmmm, I hate to be a snob, but can a Christian band really rock it out?

Last, for kicks, I checked out I Dreamed a Dream from Susan Boyle. Her voice is so pretty. Sigh. But, um, this is not the music I normally listen to.

Can you guess which album I picked?

If you said Susan Boyle, then congratulations, you picked a winner!

Her music is not what I normally listen to, but damn her voice is pretty. It's strange to hear that voice covering the Stones, the Monkees and Madonna, but it was kind of lovely.

I'm a little embarrassed that I bought a Susan Boyle album. Oh suck it up! I like it, I don't care what anyone else thinks!

For the record, I've listened to Monster about 20 times since I bought it and I don't hear anything religious in the lyrics. So, I'm probably eventually going to buy Awake anyway. I dig it.

Stretchy

2009-11-30T22:00:00.002-06:00

So... stretching, what's up with that?

There are two guys at my gym who spend substantial amounts of time stretching.

CollegeKid stretches sometimes downstairs, sometimes upstairs by the treadmills. But, it's not uncommon for him to spend a solid 20 minutes stretching before he runs.

TallGuy stretches downstairs. He spent at least 40 minutes stretching tonight. He started when I was about 5 minutes into my run and then he was still stretching when I left. Why does he need to stretch for so long? At some point, aren't you stretched already? I don't know that I even know enough different ways to stretch that I could find a way to fill up 40 minutes.

It did provide some amusement for me tonight though. TallGuy had a rubber band thing that he used to stretch by wrapping the end of it around his shoe. He lifted up his leg with it and the rubber band slipped off and snapped him in the face.

I tried not to laugh (out loud), but I'm pretty sure I snorted. It was hilarious. I had to put my face in my hands and look away.

That's what you get for trying to be limber, dude. Suck it up.

Designer Snuggie

2009-11-28T12:24:00.002-06:00

Yes, yes, yes.

I wasn't into the Snuggie. Blue, red. Blah. No thank you.

But, thankfully, they've seen the light. They are now making Snuggies in "luxurious leopard", "stunning zebra" and "classic camel."

Now, I'll be able to look fashionable when I wear my blanket with sleeves. And who doesn't want to look hot sitting on the couch? (Note: I already look hot just sitting on my couch. The designer Snuggie only makes me hotter.)

I'm a little disappointed in "classic camel" which is basically just brown, but "stunning zebra?" Sign me the fuck up!

Men in White Coats

2009-11-09T20:48:00.003-06:00

I keep looking out the window to see if they're here yet. Not yet, but I'm sure they're coming.

I bought one of those bag frozen dinners at the grocery store this weekend. You know the kind that comes with chicken, vegetables and pasta in the same bag? It was pretty cheap and comes with 3 servings. Perfect... sort of.

I decided to split up the ingredients so that I could keep two portions frozen and only make one portion for dinner tonight.

Carrot in the pan, carrot in bag 1, carrot in bag 2.

Chicken, chicken, chicken.

Pasta, pasta, pasta.

Broccoli, broccoli, broccoli.

I knew when I got to the corn that there was something wrong with me.

They'll have to get past Joe and Milo to get to me, but I know they're coming... sneaky bastards.

The High Cost of Being Poor

2009-11-08T09:51:00.003-06:00

I didn't have anything better to do yesterday, so I went shopping.

Exciting? Maybe if it hadn't been for groceries.

Since I had some time to kill, I did a little comparison shopping.

We've got four places to buy groceries here:

I can shop the Pig, Pick N Save, Brennans or Wal-Mart.

Brennans is top notch, but waaaay too expensive and more of a niche story anyway. Although, I love the free samples!

The Pig is kind of worthless.

They don't even sell beef jerky... wtf?

That leaves Pick N Save and Wal-Mart.

Pick N Save is my normal grocery store, but except for Natures Valley Peanut Butter granola bars, it sells all of my comparison items at a higher price than Wally World (on average $0.34 per item).

However, Wal-Mart doesn't sell the environmentally friendly, non-animal testing cleaning products and paper products that I normally buy. So, I'll have to go to Pick N Save for that stuff anyway.

Even though it may make a little pin-prick in my soul, I think I'm going to have to shop for some of my groceries at Wal-Mart. I just can't justify spending that much more money per item for the exact same thing right now when every dollar counts. Ugh.

13 Days of Halloween

2009-10-30T15:36:00.003-05:00

I'll be sad to see Halloween come and go this year. Not for the costumes (which I don't plan to wear), the adorable kids (which I don't plan to turn on the light for this year because I can't really afford it) or the candy (which I don't really eat).

I'll be sad to see Halloween go because it means the 13 Days of Halloween are over on ABC Family.

They have been showing some of my favorite movies on ABC Family instead of their usual teeny bopper fare.
The Goonies, The Addams Family, Edward Scissorhands, etc.
I've been tuning in quite a bit recently. I love these movies. Love them.

I've only got one more day, so I guess I had better enjoy them while they last. I'm sure ABC Family will be back to showing nonsense like A Walk to Remember in no time.

The Power of Positive Thinking

2009-10-29T22:00:00.003-05:00

When did life get to be so hard? It's not that I thought this would be easy necessarily, but I didn't really realize the emotional toll it would take.

The days are pretty easy to get through. I have work, which takes up plenty of time and I have a number of friends there that keep me socialized and human.

The nights are harder. The house gets quiet with just me and the dogs.

On the one hand, it's nice that I only have to worry about myself. There's no one else to please (or not as the case may be). I can be completely and totally selfish and there are no consequences.

On the other, it's lonely and dark. There are no hugs. There is no soft place to fall.

For the last couple of weeks, I've had a pretty much daily cry over the sad state of affairs my life has become.

Today, I decided to stop.

People (myself DEFINITELY included) fall into a trap of thinking, "I'll be happy when..."

I'll be happy when I lose 5 lbs.

I'll be happy when I find somebody to love.

I'll be happy when I have enough money.

I'm tired of saying "I'll be happy when." I'm going to be happy now.

I didn't let myself get into a negative place today. I only listened to songs on my iPod which make me feel good (which recently means no love songs, no angry songs, a lot of medium tempo content neutral songs). I set expectations about how I would feel during each portion of my day.

And although I wouldn't call it a complete success, I have to say that I felt better today than I have in a while. No tears. While I wouldn't call myself "happy" per se at the moment, I feel at a minimum neutral, which, trust me, is an improvement.

Life is what it is and I have to take it as it comes. But, I'm not going to live for a mystical future date when life will be good enough to be happy with.

I want things, which may mean that I'm always doomed to some level of dissatisfaction, but if I can achieve a state where I'm fairly contented interspersed with moments of genuine happiness (which will hopefully be more numerous than the unavoidable moments of unhappiness) then I'll consider it a win.

Path

2009-10-26T21:21:00.003-05:00

When I was younger, I could see a path laid out for me. Easy to follow, just place one foot in front of the other and I would get where I wanted to go. No problem.

Easy as pie.

Peach pie.

Is this where I meant to go?

I can't see the path laid out in front of me anymore. I don't know where I'm going or why. I'm a little bit lost. The future looks murky. I can't see it at all. I'm flying blind.

I still have hope for a better tomorrow, so I keep trying to figure it all out.

Then, I remember Pandora's box. Was hope a gift to humanity or a curse? Fairly often, it feels like both.

Handy Dandy

2009-10-22T15:24:00.002-05:00

Living alone for the first time in my life has given me the opportunity to be responsible for all those things that were previously taken care of by someone else.
Fantastic.

My neighbor told me that he got a "chuckle" out of watching me mow the lawn on Sunday.
Whatever. I got it done. So what if I haven't quite mastered the speed on the stupid thing yet? It seems to have a hair trigger between going along at a decent clip and dragging me along behind it. I'll figure it out. Hopefully. Maybe.

Next, in the master bathroom the little lever inside the toilet that pulls up to make the toilet flush broke off.
I went to the hardware store and the levers were sold according to whether the lever is on the front or the side, plus model of the toilet. Pete's sake, they make this shit difficult to figure out!

Okaaaaaay. Well I was pretty sure the lever was on the front, but model? I have no fucking clue.
I didn't really want to go check the model and come back (because I am lazy), so I bought one that claimed it could be used in all standard toilets.

Ha. Liars.
When I tried to hook it up, there was no way to get the lever in and through the plastic loop without either the lever being shorter or breaking the plastic loop.

I, briefly, considered taking it back to the store and getting another one but I didn't (because I am lazy). Instead I hooked the lever up to the base of the toilet (correctly) and then grabbed an inexpensive necklace chain I didn't really like very much (removed the pendant, which I do like) and used it to loop through the level and the plastic loop so the damn toilet will flush.

So, now I have a working toilet again. It's not exactly the right solution, but it's not exactly the wrong one either. It's a slightly stupid solution that makes me feel just the tiniest bit like MacGuyver.

Moving Along

2009-10-19T14:19:00.002-05:00

Things have changed so much in the last few weeks, I hardly know where to begin. The husband (possibly the soon-to-be-ex-husband?) moved out.

A few people know the whole, long painful story of my side of what happened. Most don't. Most won't ever. Some, because I can't really see the day when I lay my heart open for everyone to see and judge. Some, because I don't want them caught in the middle of he said/she said between us.

He is not a bad person. He did not mistreat me.
We are not a good couple.
We have spent a lot of years fighting and being unhappy.
I want to change that. I want both of us to be happy.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if I caused you any pain.
I'm sorry if I caused him any pain.

This is not what either of us ever wanted or intended. But, at this point, it is what it is.

In some ways, this whole series of events has been a pleasant surprise. (What?!?) Everyone, so far, has been supportive and kind. I feel less alone now than I have in years. So, if it applies, thank you for that.

I'm not sure what this journey is going to bring. But, I'll keep you posted.

Bravery?

2009-10-13T22:48:00.001-05:00

Sometimes, I wonder if bravery and stupidity aren't pretty much the same thing.

Friends

2009-10-06T16:08:00.001-05:00

I have better friends than I deserve.
Thank you.
You mean more to me than you know.

Gross!

2009-09-23T21:48:00.003-05:00

I was at a presentation today where they were talking about rates of hand washing after bathroom use for attending physicians, residents and nurses.

The numbers were 61, 50 and 71 respectively. They talked about the 71 for nurses as a win.

What?!?

Um, you're health care professionals. Sanitation is important!!! Those numbers should be way higher!!!

Y-U-C-K!!! (I stand by my overuse of the exclamation point here.) That is so gross.

Then again, maybe I'm not a good judge of this sort of thing.

Hell, even if I'm about to jump in the shower, I still wash my hands after going to the bathroom.

Oh, Honey!

2009-09-04T13:06:00.003-05:00

I was looking up the lyrics to Devil Went Down to Georgia today using Google. (Let's pretend that is a normal thing to do and move on... sound good?) They have that completion matching business now that tries to "help" you.

When I typed in "Devil went down" my options were:
Devil went down to Jamaica
Devil went down to Jamaica lyrics
Devil went down to Georga
Devil went down to Georga lyrics

Seriously? How many people had to misspell "Georgia" for Google to list it in the search options list?

And how does the "Devil went down to Georgia" not even make the list?

Makes me a little sad.

World of Warcraft

2009-09-01T20:40:00.003-05:00

That Mountain Dew commercial kind of makes me want to play World of Warcraft.

But, then I think, do I really need to be that girl? I really don't need another reason to sit around and play on the computer. I've already embraced my nerd-dom, but I'm not sure I need to ramp it up and take it to the next level.

I'm pretty happy with the level I'm on, so I'm not going to pursue this any further.

But, c'mon, it kind of looks fun, doesn't it?

We Do Not Kill Bunnies in This House, Mister!

2009-08-20T14:53:00.004-05:00

We do NOT kill bunnies in this house, Mister!

These are the words my neighbors heard me screaming across the lawn at my dog, Milo today. We have a little burrow in our backyard where a bunny must have given birth because there are a bunch of baby bunnies in there.

Milo found it. A couple of days ago he kept sniffing a patch of dead grass and jumping back in surprise. I watched it for a little bit until I went over there.

Pity sake Milo! Stop being such a drama queen! It's just a patch of dead... oh.

He's been crazy about going into the backyard ever since. I've been trying to keep him away from it. I took him out today and let him near enough to sniff it (which is all he did last time).

This time he stuck his stupid nose in and pulled out a tiny, little baby bunny. I started screaming and swatting Milo's rear end until he dropped the bunny. I threw his butt back in the house grabbed a towel and went back outside to return the bunny to its burrow.

Poor bunny tried to get away from me, but it couldn't hop properly yet so it just sort of flopped around in a circle.

After I came back inside, Milo and I had a long conversation about how killing bunnies is not what we do in this household. I don't think much of it sunk in. He's standing at the back door trying to get me to take him out as I type. Bad dog. Poor bunny.

Statistically

2009-08-19T17:55:00.002-05:00

Here's a snippet of a conversation I was having with my Dad this morning:

D: Powerball is up to $250 million. If you have an extra $20 you should play.

Me: People who win the lottery are usually unhappy. You want me to be unhappy?

D: Stupid people who win the lottery are unhappy. You'll be fine. Plus...

Me: Plus?

D: Well, you're statistically more likely to get attacked by a shark than win the lottery. But, if you manage to win the lottery, do you realize how statistically unlikely it is that you'd be attacked by a shark, too?

Me: Right, because those things are inversely proportional to one another?

D: You'd be bulletproof.

Me: Sign me up.

Anybody else going to be playing Powerball tonight?

One of These Days

2009-08-16T22:38:00.004-05:00

One of these days, you will learn the difference between a shoulder to cry on and a punching bag. While I am always willing to be the former, I am not willing to be the latter anymore.

I get to matter.

You're not the only one who is disappointed.

As always, I'm here if you need me.

Juice Guy

2009-08-12T13:36:00.004-05:00

My employer provides free juice, milk and popcorn and the people in this building go through like green tea like it's going out of style. So, there are about 10 jugs of Green Tea sitting out in the break room, I assume because they didn't fit in the refrigerator.

The note accompanying the jugs reads:

These jugs are fine to sit out. The tea will not spoil.

Thanks,
Juice Guy

I pretty much love that he signed the note "Juice Guy"
It makes sense. If he had signed his name, I would have thought, "who the hell is that?"

Still, awesome!

Shadows and Nightmares

2009-08-12T12:26:00.003-05:00

Can someone stop this ride, please? I'd like to get off.

On Friday, I had another ultrasound done on my right breast. The lumps from before are stable, and one even seems to have gotten smaller (Yay!). But, and this particular "but" seems to be a reoccurring theme, they found a new lump.

The radiologist wants to just watch it and see if it's stable. My surgeon wants to operate or biopsy; she always wants to operate or biopsy. In this case, because I'd rather be careful, yet I don't want my breasts to look like a war zone, so I sided with my surgeon, but opted for the biopsy.

The nurse asked me if my doctor had explained the procedure to me. I said that she hadn't, but that it was unnecessary since I just had a biopsy in March.
She nodded sympathetically, but looked vaguely uncomfortable.
She asked if I had any questions.
"This is the one in the basement, right? They call me to schedule it?" I asked, just to make sure.
Unfortunately, these questions made the nurse explain the WHOLE procedure to me from beginning to end. I wanted to stop her, but I think it made her feel better to tell me, so I just let her go on.

It's funny (not 'ha ha' funny) how people respond to this kind of thing.
The radiologist was jovial. "You've had an awful lot of biopsies for someone your age!" with a giant smile.
Well, yeah. And thanks for bringing it up.

The radiology tech was apologetic. She mouthed "sorry" to me when she found the lump.
Me too. But I'd rather you found it, than not.

The surgeon was friendly. "It was great to get to see you again!" (super-upbeat tone)
Really? Maybe for you.

The husband is overly concerned. He asked if I wanted him to take off work to go with me to consult with the surgeon today. Sweet, and yet somehow annoying.
I'm not dying. And this appt was just so my surgeon could give her two cents about what I should do. Calm down.

I? Have an overactive imagination. When I'm there in the doctor's office, it's like I can see a corridor in time of what happens if it is cancer. I'm not going to explain what I see because an embarrassing amount of it is overly dramatic and silly. But, I think you're allowed to be a little overly dramatic and silly when considering the possibility of cancer, for at least a minute or two.

In a lot of ways, I am lucky. I keep winning the lottery. This thought helps keep me from being too maudlin or self indulgent, but it doesn't quite chase away the fear. That doesn't happen until everything comes back as okay and I forget about this until my next follow up appointment when this starts all over again.

Yellow

2009-08-04T16:08:00.002-05:00

I'm wearing a yellow shirt today. It's new.
I only have two yellow shirts in all my closet and I've bought both in the last three months.

I like my yellow shirt.
It bright and cheerful.
It's like wearing a hug.
It wraps me up in a cocoon of warm color and soft fabric.

I should remember I like yellow shirts the next time I go shopping.

Why I Love the X Games - Part Two

2009-08-03T22:26:00.002-05:00

Here is some of the commentary from the Moto X Freestyle competition I was watching tonight on TiVO.

Commentator 1: It's interesting to note that no non-US or international player has ever won this competition.

Commentator 2: Isn't non-US and international basically the same thing?

Commentator 1: Uh, well Americans can be international, too, so I just wanted to be clear that it was non-US.

Damn, are they dumb! They know a lot about Moto X. They can tell you what the tricks are and pretty much the complete history of every trick, but when they get to jabbering outside of their industry specific knowledge, holy shit are they dumb!

Luckily, that just makes it more entertaining for me. It may or may not make the husband uncomfortable when I shout back at the television and tell them how dumb they are.

Why I Love the X Games

2009-07-31T22:48:00.003-05:00

There is a new event at the X Games, it's called the Skateboard Big Air Rail Jam. Basically, there is a giant drop, then after a 50 ft jump, there is a long rail and a quarter pipe at the end.

The video is from last night's big air competition. You can see the drop (which is crazy dangerous!) is the same as in the video, only off the middle run, there is a rail for this competition.

It's the first time this event has ever been at the X Games. Competing in this competition, is Danny Way. He's a huge badass in the sport of skateboarding. He originated the Big Air competition (and took the sport's first gold medal). He has jumped the Great Wall of China. The.

Great.

Wall.

of.

China!!

Skateboard Big Air Rail Jam was his idea, too. He's a pioneer and has done a lot to really progress the sport.

Tonight, he dropped into the ramp with a bum wheel on his skateboard. Oh yeah, and his knee won't bend. For those of you not into skateboarding, when you fall, they generally try to fall so they are sliding on their knees. It's safer. It's why they all wear knee pads. Danny Way can't fall into a knee slide, so he's just got to slide on his ass and hope for the best.

And, if that weren't enough, he rolled his ankle. He bit it pretty hard on one of his early runs. Tony Hawk, who commentates for this event for ESPN, thought with Danny's other injuries that he might be done for the night.

But, no. Danny, who could barely walk, dragged his ass to the top for the winning run.

That's right. On a bum wheel, injured knee and rolled ankle, he fucking won!

After he won, Kier was interviewing Danny and asked him why, at this point in his career when he really has nothing to prove, did he come out here to compete in this event.

His answer?

He loves skateboarding.

It's inspiring to watch athletes who give their whole heart and soul to their sport, not for a paycheck or fame, but for the love of the game. They play through pain and injury, because they can't bear not to.

That's a beautiful thing. It reminds me why I love sports.

Mrs. The Husband

2009-07-29T21:23:00.003-05:00

I got a birthday card from one of the husband's sisters today. It was addressed to "Mrs. The Husband"

Ugh.

Really? Is this the 1950s?

I am not Mrs. The Husband.

Mrs. if you must, otherwise, it had better be me.

Much love to the husband, but I'm not the little woman type. I don't fall in line and stand behind my man. My man can stand at my side or behind me!

Sigh.

The husband just laughed when he saw the address label. He knows what's what.

Sometimes, You Can't Stop the Crazy

2009-07-24T20:06:00.003-05:00

Here's the thing, my closet is very organized. There is a system at work, people.

I have a U-shaped walk in closet with space to hang clothes all around the U and a place for folded clothes above it. There is also a tiny little hanging area at the entrance to the closet above the U.

My pants are all folded. Jeans on the right. Non-denim pants and shorts on the left. Flannel and comfy pants at the base of the U. Gym clothes on the umlaut.

My shirts are all hung up, arranged by color and sleeve length.

My shoes are arranged so that winter shoes are on the left and summer shoes and commonly worn all-weather shoes are on the right.

Each shirt has a specific type of hanger that it uses. When that shirt is in the laundry, its hanger goes on the umlaut.

What?

I said I had a system.

Tonight, after I got home from the gym, I was in the middle of changing clothes and for no particular reason I decided to reorganize the free hangers on the umlaut. They are now arranged by type (plastic with indents in the shoulders, plastic with hooks, plastic without hooks or indents, free hangers (the kind you get from the store that list your size on them)) and color.

That's right. Tonight I stood in my closet, wearing nothing but my shorts and a sports bra with my gym shirt STILL IN MY HANDS, rearranging the hangers.

About halfway through I realized how weird doing that was. Yet, I still didn't stop. It would have driven me crazy, at that point to leave it. Short drive, I know.

Sometimes, I wonder if I have even a passing acquaintance with "normal."

Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals

2009-07-20T14:43:00.006-05:00

After the Staff meeting today, Fargo came by my cubicle. Fargo's a pretty cool guy, but usually he only drops by to discuss business. Not today. Today was my lucky day.

He brought by a postcard book called "Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals"

This is fucking brilliant! Beware baby animals from now on people, because from this point onward, I'm breaking all my bad news with a baby animal.

Who could be upset by receiving a postcard saying "You don't matter", when it's accompanied by a little kitten? Mew. Mew.

"You're not the father", when it's accompanied by two adorable little ducklings?

Is there any bad news that can't be counteracted with the cuteness of baby animals?

One of my favorites was a bulldog puppy that says "You were a mistake" Fargo and I discussed sending that one through interoffice mail to a co-worker who really gets on our nerves and signing it "XOXO Love, Mom"

Of course since neither of us particularly wants to get fired, we're not going to do that. Um, it might be a little mean too. Especially since that particular dude isn't very bright, he might not realize it wasn't from his momma. Ha!

(That dachshund is so adorable, even if he does seem a little creepy pimpin' with that caption)

I seem to be writing about correspondence a lot lately.

What can I say? I like written correspondence. It's unfortunate for you that you'll never know if I'm going to pick you up or slap you down.

Am I going to tell you you're terrific or that I'm banging your wife?

It's like a mini-mystery in every envelope.

I like to think that it takes a lot of talent to make the mail scary.

Terrific

2009-07-15T21:53:00.003-05:00

I think I've mentioned before that there is a Life's Little Instructions poster above my dentist's chair. Most of the "instructions" are pretty annoying, some... some I take to heart.

For example, "Send lots of Valentine's Day cards. Sign them 'Someone who thinks your terrific'"

I think that's a great/ridiculous idea, only I don't want to wait until stinking Valentine's Day. No, I'm going to implement this plan now. I'm going to buy a bunch of cards and send them out to people. No return address. No nothing. Just "Someone who thinks you're terrific" (I'm going to go ahead and spell you're correctly though, hopefully that doesn't ruin it) I may even dot an i with a little heart or add an exclamation point. We'll see. I've got to keep it real.

If you know me and I know your address, you're probably getting a card.

If you read this blog and I don't know your address, leave it on the comments or send me an email (quartergoddess@yahoo.com) and I'll send you a card, too. Because, you're probably pretty terrific and everybody deserves to be told so every now and again.

Plus, I think it's funny. (Don't worry, I'll still mean it)

I thought about picking some random names out of the phone book and sending them cards. It seems like it would be nice to get a card out of nowhere that told me I was terrific. But, then again it would drive me nuts not to know who sent it. Plus, what if I accidentally caused some poor couple to break up because they couldn't figure out who would send their significant other a card about how terrific they are?

I wouldn't want that on my conscience. On the other hand, they really should have a little more faith in their partner.

Cards for everybody!

Signed,

Someone who thinks you're terrific

Naked Laundry

2009-07-14T20:53:00.003-05:00

You know what's annoying about doing laundry? It's never done. I'm always wearing clothes which at the end of the day, go right in the laundry basket.

Anybody else ever feel like just doing the laundry naked? You know, so when you're done, you're done. Every item of clothing in the house is officially clean.

Please! You know you've thought the same thing.

P.S. You may want to avoid my house on laundry day.

Or not. Naughty bird.

Inappropriate Laughter

2009-07-13T21:42:00.003-05:00

So, the thing is I hate feet. I think they are gross. My sister used to chase me around and threaten to touch me with hers. I hate her feet. They're not particularly gross or anything, but I don't want them touching me. Ever. EVER.

But, sometimes when you practice yoga, you have to touch your feet. For example, today the yoga instructor had us doing the happy baby pose, supposedly it's good for your back.

At the end of every session there is a period called savasana, which for those of you who don't practice yoga is at the end of class where you just sort of lie there with your eyes shut and relax. You're not supposed to think about anything but your breath. Today's yoga instructor likes to do what they call an "assist." It's basically where she rubs some aromatherapy stuff on her hands and she sort of pushes on your shoulders, moves your neck around and sort of massages your scalp a bit.

It smells good and it's relaxing. Usually. Today, all I could think is that she touched her feet with those hands and is now rubbing my hair with them. Which logically should have grossed me out, but instead made me want to giggle. A lot. I'm pretty sure that goes against the enlightened, zen sort of attitude that we're supposed to take during savasana, so I tried very, very hard to keep it under control.

And I was very nearly successful at that.

Poor woman.

Someday, I'll be a grown up and I won't laugh at inappropriate stuff. Um, maybe.

Cleaning Out My Closet

2009-07-12T19:39:00.003-05:00

Finally! Finally, I got around to cleaning out my closet. It's been a long time coming. The herd needed to be culled. It didn't really take that long, but I was surprised at how hard it was. Not hard physically, hard emotionally.

Some items were pretty easy: it doesn't fit, I never really cared for it all that much in the first place, into the Charity bag it goes. Bing. Bang. Boom. Done.

Other items were harder. I bought that sweatshirt in Canada on a spring break trip with the husband. We had a really good time and were really happy. I wore that dress to Snoop and DaisyDuke's wedding. Sist-A gave me that shirt for Christmas. Those used to be my favorite pants, I wandered all over the U of M in them. I never thought I'd fit into them again. That was my favorite t-shirt. It made me feel good about myself at a time when I very rarely felt pretty.

I've always been a bit of a sentimental type, more than most people realize. I wanted to put them back in my closet, so I could wrap myself up in those memories whenever I felt like it. That way they would never be able to slip away.

But, that's ridiculous. They're just clothes, right? As I placed each sentimental item in the bags (there were far too many to keep), I kept telling myself, it's a good thing. This will go to someone who needs this. I won't wear it because it doesn't fit anyway. Let it go. This is a good thing.

Even so, there were a few things I couldn't bring myself to part with. Not yet.

My high school track shirts, my prom dress, my Rainbow Falls jacket, a sweatshirt I got in Hawaii, a t-shirt I got when we went on vacation with mr. blume and manricor in Las Vegas, a red dress my dad bought me when I was a little girl.

At the end of the day, it feels good to get rid of those things. I don't need them sitting around, gathering dust and taking up space. It feels cleaner and lighter. I can see all the clothes I actually wear now, and as an added bonus, the Great Hanger Crisis of 2009 is over.

That's Super.

2009-07-09T22:14:00.003-05:00

Today, I team taught a class for work. I taught the class with J.J., the self-proclaimed "third funniest person at {company where I work}".

We're required, as instructors, to hand out reviews so that all the shiny, pretty people taking our class can give us feedback.

From one girl in particular, J.J.'s feedback was, "funny, very informative"

My feedback from the same girl, "super funny, very helpful"

J.J. was a little distraught about this "super" business.

It was a momentary setback though as he quickly decided that it was simply possible that I was the "first or second funniest person at {company where I work}".

Doesn't bode very well for my company.

So, I got that going for me, which is nice.

That's Love

2009-07-08T22:30:00.003-05:00

This is Milo. He's my dog. My littlest dog, my baby. We went for a walk together tonight. He gets so excited when he knows that he's going to get to go. His feet prance. It's adorable.

He's a tough little bugger, but sometimes he gets tired when we go on walks together. Sometimes, he just needs a little rest. So, sometimes I carry him for a little bit.

People may laugh at us, but that's what you do for the ones you love. You pick them up and carry them when they are tired.

And, of course, when they wiggle their butts you know they're okay to carry on by themselves again.

But, What Does It All Mean?

2009-07-07T20:59:00.003-05:00

I heard this quote today,

"You can't find the meaning because you're looking for it. Meaning isn't something you find. It's something you give."

I like that. I like things that put the control back in my hands. For better or worse, it's about the choices I make. It means what I let it, or perhaps even make it mean.

My life. My choice. My meaning.

I like that.

Roadkill

2009-07-03T08:17:00.002-05:00

I have a 45 minute drive to work everyday, so I see a lot of roadkill on a day-to-day basis. Today, I saw a family of raccoons that had all been run over. There were three of them, they had all died within 2 or 3 feet of each other.

Makes my heart sad.

Score!

2009-07-02T22:10:00.002-05:00

Mark your calendars.

Sunday, July 26th is the Demolition Derby at the Green County Fair. Boo-yah!

Happy birthday to me!

Just the Picture

2009-07-01T22:07:00.003-05:00

They've added a glass balcony to the Sears tower. Just looking at the picture makes me a little queasy and makes my knees go kind of weak. Heights from airplanes don't bother me. Hell, jumping out of an airplane didn't bother me. The idea of standing on that glass ledge makes me want to throw up a little bit.

Wait, what?

2009-07-01T20:23:00.004-05:00

Over the weekend, the husband and I took a holiday to Milwaukee with the usual round of suspects (mr. blume, manricor, Snoop and DaisyDukes) We went to the Strawberry Festival in Cedarburg during the day and a dinner cruise at night for all you can eat tacos and margaritas.

As a side note: This was the night I learned that all-you-can-eat means probably-don't-want-to-eat. And there is a vast difference between tequila and "tequila"

After a fun, but long day, Snoop, DaisyDukes, the husband and I headed over to our hotel to get some much desired sleep. (manricor and mr. blume shacked up with her sister)

You would think that this is where the fun ended, but you would be wrong. You would be so, so very wrong. It was where it all began.

The husband booked us for one night at the Quality Inn in Brookfield. (Should've stayed at the La Quinta?) I can't remember the time exactly, but I think we got to the hotel just past midnight.

We had already called them earlier and told them that we would be checking in late, so we weren't particularly concerned at that point. There were two men behind the desk when the husband went up to check in. Once they looked up our reservation, the two guys exchanged a look.

"Um, we just need to make sure that your room is ready," the first guy behind the desk said.

Wait, what? It's past midnight. Why would our room not be ready?

The husband said as much, while DaisyDukes and I were laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. I tried to stop because it seemed mildly rude, but seriously, why would our room not be ready? The first guy sent the second guy to make sure that our room was ready and assured us that "everything was okay."

Summerfest was going on in Milwaukee last weekend, so there weren't any other hotels to be had. We really didn't have a better option than to wait for our room to be ready.

While I was attempting to get ahold of myself, the husband was making conversation with the guy behind the desk who we learned was from Bulgaria.

This is my favorite part of their conversation, to the best of my recollection:

Bulgaria: I like Wisconsin because it is social.

The husband: Yeah, like us right now.

(Note: Social - pertaining to, or characterized by friendly companionship or relations)

Bulgaria: Um, yah. You can get free healthcare and cheap medication in Wisconsin.

(Note: Social - pertaining to activities designed to remedy or alleviate certain unfavorable conditions of life in a community, esp. among the poor)

The husband: Huh? Oh, right.

Bulgaria: It's good, when you are poor like us.

The husband, completely deadpan: I like free drugs. Do you like drugs?

After about 15 minutes of this, our room was finally "ready". Snoop and DaisyDukes might or might not have slept in a dirty bed on dirty pillows. (Happy Anniversary guys!) Plus, I'm not sure, but I think there might have been a family of Bulgarian refugees sleeping in our box springs. It's hard to fit in there, so it would explain why they needed so much time to get our room ready.

But, when you're poor like us, what else can you expect?

My New Bunny

2009-06-23T11:26:00.003-05:00

Remember this?

That's right, it's the bunny eating a cookie that makes me laugh. I've got a new "bunny with a cookie", by which I mean something that I laugh about every time I think about it and I keep thinking that I'm going to get over it and the next time I think about it, it won't make me laugh, so I keep testing it and so far, still laughing.

My New Bunny

At work, we have weekly meetings between myself, the Saint, the Queen of All (aka my boss) and Fargo (the lone boy in our group of misfits). We talk about how it's going, what we're working on and any complaints or awesome stuff that's happened. Mostly.

Sometimes, we gossip. Sometimes.

Fargo: I wonder when S is supposed to be due?

(S is the head of our division)

The Saint & myself: S is pregnant?
Queen of All: <>

The Saint: Are you sure?

Fargo: Either she's pregnant, or she got really fat in one particular area. Seriously, she's either pregnant or it's time for Weight Watchers!

The Saint: -gasp-

(Can you tell who the nice one is in our group?)

The Saint: Have her boobs gotten any bigger?

(Being nice doesn't preclude you from asking the practical question.)

We all turn to Fargo, who gives us a blank stare in return that I take to mean, either he hasn't noticed, hasn't looked or doesn't want to admit that he has noticed or looked.

Queen of All: Well, she did just get married not that long ago. She had 1200 people at her wedding.

Me: I guess it's possible she got married and just decided to let herself go. I don't know how you can tell she's got a belly. She's always wearing a sari when I see her lately.

Fargo: Well yeah, if she's pregnant she's going to be wearing looser clothes.

Queen of All: Yeah, but I saw her bend over last week. If you're pregnant and you bend over, you can't just bend in half. The baby doesn't bend, right?

We all look to the Saint, since she's the only one of us who has been pregnant.

The Saint: Well, the baby doesn't really bend.

Me: Well I can't say really, I've never had the occasion to see S bend over and I don't know that I would have noticed if she had.

Fargo: I see S a lot. I'll have to pay attention if she bends over.

Me: Really? You're going follow S around and watch if she bends over?

The rest of us starting laughing hysterically while Fargo turned bright red and stammered that that was not what he meant AT ALL for a few minutes.

Later that day, I was at the gym and I was kind of in a pissy mood for no particular reason. I randomly thought about Fargo following S around waiting for her to bend over and I laughed. Out loud. At the gym.

It's possible that the people there think I'm insane now, laughing to myself (if they didn't already), but what do they know?

I've got a new bunny.

Father's Day

2009-06-18T21:57:00.004-05:00

I bought my grandfather, Poppie, a Father's Day card. It's very pretty and brown. It looks handmade with fancy paper and a ribbon on the front. It says "Love You, Grandpa" on the front.

It's too bad that I'm greeting card illiterate, otherwise I might have read the inscription before I bought it. It says:

You're a wonderful person grandfather,
a great person,
and an inspiration to the family.
Happy Father's Day

Just in case he didn't know it before, he's a wonderful person AND a great person. In a comma delimited list TOGETHER.

Sigh.

I know he probably won't even notice. He's a sweet, darling man who will just be glad I sent him a card, but still, I would rather send him a card that didn't read like a raging, insipid moron wrote it.

I guess most greeting cards sound that way anyway, so I probably didn't really move that far down the greeting card food chain.

That Was Unexpected!

2009-06-15T21:11:00.003-05:00

Today was my first real yoga class. Sist-A and I went to a Yoga 101 seminar on Saturday where you learn some of the positions, vocabulary and philosophy, but that was nothing like today.

I have to admit, going into it, I thought it would be easy. I thought it would be a lot of stretching and flexibility stuff, but I didn't think it was going to be a challenge. I'm utterly delighted to find it otherwise. It's exactly what I was looking for when I took that failure of a water aerobics class.

Things that made me pretty happy about this yoga class:

To my surprise, I actually broke a sweat
At one point, my thighs were only holding me up through sheer force of will
Despite how hard it was, I was still able to go running afterwards
Turns out that zen hoo-hah stuff actually works. I thought it was kind of crap as she started out with it, but as she talked us through visualizing our stress being released, I felt little pockets of stress in my back give way. Honestly, I didn't even realize they were they until I relaxed.

All in all, I'm calling it a win...

... hopefully, I'm still going to be able to walk tomorrow.

Times are a changing

2009-06-14T21:44:00.003-05:00

Changing is hard.

This week, I'm going to try to change my schedule so that I can fit yoga into my daily routine. There is a yoga studio near where I work (Bliss Flow Yoga), so I can go during the day or early afternoon. The good thing about where I work is that it's very flexible, so if I want to step out for an hour to practice yoga, no big deal.

The key is that I have to get up earlier to do it.

To say that I'm not a morning person is the understatement of the century.

Imagine a cranky, salty, curmudgeon who likes to rampantly curse about really small offenses. Yeah, that's basically me in the morning.

So, it's going to be interesting to see how easily I adjust to getting up an hour earlier so that I can afford the time to go do this.

It takes 21 days to create a habit, so this should only be a pain in the ass until it becomes a habit. I'm just not looking forward to trying to get to bed by 10, so that I can get a decent amount of sleep.

It's day one, and I've already missed 10 o'clock.

Inner peace here I come?

The More Things Change...

2009-06-08T18:38:00.004-05:00

I saw an old friend, MCool, this weekend. I haven't seen him in almost three years.

With some people, no matter how long you've been apart, you just fall back together like time and distance don't really matter. Some people require a period of adjustment before you remember the patterns of your friendship, how they relate to you and how you relate to them. Don't underestimate the latter.

MCool and I were talking about weight lifting, he's been really into because of a contest he's doing with his friends.

Apparently, I've been doing it wrong. He wouldn't really pin down what I was doing wrong, but suffice it to say, I was definitely doing it wrong.

I have to admit, this initially rubbed me the wrong way.

I mean, WTF!?! Who is he to tell me I'm not lifting correctly? Seriously, we haven't see each other in three years and one of the first things he does is to tell me what I'm doing wrong!

Then I remembered. I'm talking to MCool, not a normal person.

I think he was just nostalgic for the very first time we met.

We met in high school, both of us were on the track team. I was a sophomore and he was a junior (although it was his first year in track, due to playing baseball for two years), and I was teaching the freshman girls to use the blocks.

Ready. Set. Go.

MCool walked up behind me and his first words to me were exactly this, "You're doing that wrong." In his (not so humble) opinion, I was holding the girls in their blocks too long before I said "Go."

... Aaaand just for the record, I was not doing it wrong. There is no correct amount of time to hold them in their blocks.

I remembered this story of our first meeting, and suddenly I wasn't annoyed anymore. It was like hitting the valve on a steam cooker. The steam was released and along with it any bad feelings. All that was left was love and affection for MCool. That crazy kid hasn't changed at all.

He's the boy who used to be too lazy to walk across the dorm to my room, so we would both watch the Simpson's over the phone together.

He's the boy who used to come over to my apartment every Tuesday to help me with my math homework and watch Buffy: The Vampire Slayer with me.

He's the boy who used to go out for walks with me in the wee hours of the morning when I would get restless because he didn't think I should be wandering around by myself.

Sometimes it takes awhile to get the memories flowing, but then I remembered: my boy's got some excellent qualities, even if he (erroneously) believes that I do lots of stuff wrong.

Quandary

2009-06-02T23:33:00.004-05:00

When I was a kid, I asked my mother if it was better to be the kind of person who thought nice things and did good things or the kind who thought bad things, but usually did good things in spite of that.

She thought for a moment and said it was better to think and do nice things.

I think about that occasionally, because I think the same thing now that I thought then.

I'm fucked.

You Know You're Not Fooling Anyone, Right?

2009-06-02T14:39:00.003-05:00

I don't watch Jon and Kate + 8.
She's bossy and mean. He's weak and boring.
Together they produced a hell of a lot of kids.
Snooze.

But, how can you stay away from the media storm the break up of their marriage is creating? It's salacious. It's fame, sex, money and lies. It's awesome.
In an, 'oh those poor children' kind of way, but awesome, nonetheless.

They're trying to convince us they're still together.
Yet, they spent her birthday apart. His trip out to Utah "just happened" to fall on her birthday?
I call bullshit on that one. You don't just happen to make other plans on your wife's birthday. This is a major relationship no-no. You especially don't make other plans to hang out with a girl you got tabloid busted for possibly having an affair.
There is trying to convince us that you're still together for the sake of the show and blah, blah, blah, whatever. Then, there is insulting.

Really, the hard part to believe is that someone would want to have an affair with either one of them. They've got 8 kids. If I were single, I don't think that kids would be a deal breaker. One or two little steps running around seems like it would be manageable. But, eight? That's a whole lot of baggage. I guess you can never really underestimate how low people are willing to sink for a little bit of fame-whore action.

Who's ya daddy?

Culinary Ninja

2009-05-30T17:34:00.004-05:00

I made bars today for our Brewer's tailgate tomorrow.

(Bars, for the non-Wisconsinites are, as far as I can tell, any dessert that can be served from a 13 x 9 pan)

To make the bars, I had to melt some chocolate, so I rigged up a makeshift double boiler to do it. I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty much feeling like a culinary bad ass at this point.

No microwave for me, thank you very much!

I'll do it the hard way. I'll take the not-a-double-boiler-but-I'll-make-it-into-one-anyway, please.

If the bars turn out to be awesome (and why wouldn't they?), it will definitely be due to my ninja-like double boiling skills.

P.S. I have noticed, but I no idea why so many of my blogs are food related lately.

And in other food related news...

2009-05-27T22:14:00.002-05:00

I was watching Dinner: Impossible tonight on the Food Network.

Robert Irvine had to create a gourmet dinner for 200 using only ballpark food by the seventh inning stretch.

One of the dishes he created was brats with American cheese rolled up in a tortilla and fried on the grill.

That sounds DISGUSTING.

Yuck. Who eats a brat with cheese?

Double yuck for using American cheese.

Brats and cheese? That's just wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

Don't get me wrong, I like cheese. Cheese and I are buddies. We pal around.

But, there are certain things that you don't eat with cheese.

Brats are one of them.

Fail, Robert Irvine. Go back to the drawing board.

And FYI, you cannot call anything that uses American cheese "gourmet."

Sorry, but I'm pretty sure it's one of the laws of the universe. See, it's listed right there after gravity.

Amazing Cakes

2009-05-27T20:41:00.002-05:00

I like cake-related television.

I TiVO Ace of Cakes on the Food Network. They make some kick-ass cakes.

If Food Network Challenge is on, I'll turn it on because pretty often, it's some sort of insane cake decorating contest.

So, when my TiVO recorded Amazing Wedding Cakes on WE, I was all "boo-yah!"

I spoke too soon.

Amazing Wedding Cakes seems to be about two, possibly three, wedding cake shops going about their business. Not all wedding cake shops are built the same apparently.

Where Duff and crew (Ace of Cakes) are good natured and up for any challenge, these women are a bunch of neurotic, perfectionist, drama queen, whiny bitches. Blech.

At Cake Girls, the bakery in Chicago, the customer called to change their order about a week before it was due (the husband-to-be made the call without consulting his wife-to-be) and they bitched and moaned and bagged on their customer, more than once, and in essence called them stupid.

I didn't know it was possible to dislike a show about cakes.

Suck it, Amazing Wedding Cakes! You ruined the un-ruinable.

What the hell is wrong with you? You should be ashamed of yourself.

What a Waste

2009-05-26T18:37:00.002-05:00

I read an article on MSN.com today about a girl who has, for the last 13 years, had perfect attendance at school. Not by accident, by design. She wanted this. She refused to attend baseball tournaments or take a senior skip day all in the name of maintaining her perfect attendance record. She is a self-described "perfectionist."

What a fucking waste.

I don't think there is anything gained by encouraging perfectionism in those who feel compelled to seek it. We all fail eventually. It's inevitable. You're better off learning to accept yourself and cope with the imperfections and failures than to indulge in a perfectionism that can only be achieved on a very small, insignificant scale.

I'm not judging. I'm a reformed perfectionist.

But, never about my attendance.

I'm not going to lie to you, I skipped school in high school. A lot. Especially in my senior year. I particularly hated my pre-Calculus class and skipped it at least a couple of times a week.

The whole affair makes me laugh in retrospect because I wasn't particularly clever in getting excused from class. I am a decent forger and our attendance office was insanely stupid. Every. Single. Time. I went to the "seniors" window with an excuse note she would point to the next window and tell me freshman/sophomores get excused at a different window. And honestly, who goes to the dentist that often?

There are things I regret about the choices I have made. Things that I would do differently if I had them to do over. Skipping school is not one of them. It was fun. I don't regret it at all.

I would love to say that I learned some big life lesson by breaking the rules. But, mostly, I learned that sometimes you can get away with stuff you're not supposed to and sometimes it's fun to break the fucking rules.

This poor girl gets a lousy 15 minutes of fame for a record I wouldn't take if you offered it to me gold-plated. I hope, in the end, that's worth it to her.

Run Away

2009-05-25T22:32:00.003-05:00

Do you ever just want to walk away from your life?

Leave the job, the house, the people, the responsibility, everything. Just leave it behind and start somewhere anew? Then you could go somewhere nobody knows you. Then, nobody will tell you "how you are" or make assumptions based on who you used to be. You just get a clean slate. There would be problems, of course, there are always problems. But, they would be different problems than the ones you have now, and maybe different is enough.

Reality is that we don't leave because we are tied to the people, places, and responsibilities that we have here. There is enough love to keep us still, if sometimes strangled.

Today, I want to run away. I won't, but I want to.

Can you smell it? There is change floating in the air. I'm not sure how to deal with it.

Maybe I'll dye my hair a different color. You laugh, but it's worked to counteract this need for change before.

I'm not sure what the future holds but today, I'm going to stay put and listen to The Way and dream about where I could go without ever knowing the way.

The Way

by Fastball

They made up their minds

And they started packing

They left before the sun came up that day

An exit to eternal summer slacking

But where were they going without ever knowing the way?

They drank up the wine

And they got to talking

They now had more important things to say

And when the car broke down they started walking

Where were they going without ever knowing the way?

--Chorus--

Anyone could see the road that they walked on was paved in gold

And it's always summer, they'll never get cold

They'll never get hungry

They'll never get old and gray

You can see their shadows wandering off somewhere

They won't make it home but they really don't care

They wanted the highway

They're happier there today, today

The children woke up

And they couldn't find 'em

They left before the sun came up that day

They just drove off and left it all behind 'em

But where were they going without ever knowing the way?

--Chorus--

Wanderlust

2009-05-20T22:28:00.002-05:00

I can feel it in my veins. There is a time for staying home and taking comfort in the things that are familiar. Then, there is also a time for venturing out and having an adventure.

I'm looking forward to two grand adventures that loom on the horizon.

First, the husband turns the big 3-0 this September and in honor of that auspicious occasion we have decided to take a trip. We're going to go to California. We'll fly into LA, rent a car, drive up the coast stopping at various locales and fly back from San Francisco. We've got a few ideas in mind for things to do (Big Sur, San Francisco, Napa Valley). We booked our flight and car rental tonight. We've still got a lot of planning yet to do, but I'm looking forward to it!

Second, in August I earn my 5-year sabbatical at work. What would you do with a paid vacation anywhere in the world?

I was thinking about taking it next summer, but after talking to my friend JR, I may be leaning towards next May. I haven't finalized a location yet, but right now I'm thinking possibly Prague. I want to go somewhere that has plenty of history so I know there will be plenty for me to do for 3 weeks. Then, all the other European countries are just a train ride away.

I think I'm going to put in my request at work pretty soon.

Half the fun of these things is working out the possibilities and planning what you are going to do. Things are looking up.

How I was almost good, but then I wasn't

2009-05-14T22:07:00.003-05:00

At Christmas, my work hands out holiday cards with crisp $100 bills inside of them. Usually I hand mine over to the husband. This year (with his approval) I kept it. I've been thinking about what I would spend the money on for the past 5 months.

Makeup? Clothes? Jewelry? A new purse? A new vanity for the bathroom?

The possibilities were more enticing than actually spending the money.

Today, I finally spent my $100.

I would love to tell you I bought something completely fabulous.

Nope. Instead, I spent the money on some new bras.

Sexy bras, at least?

Sure. You'll never know if I'm lying anyway.

It was long overdue. I needed some that actually fit. Too much information? Suck it up.

I bought three new ones and I could have paid for it out of our joint account, but I had the cash and since I didn't technically need them it seemed fair to pay for it with my own money.

So, I was a good little girl and did not put my purchases on our bank card.

THEN. Then, I went to Sephora. Just to look.

Um, would it help if I said that one of the things I bought was on sale?

No? Oh well.

I tried. Kind of.

Storming

2009-05-13T22:18:00.003-05:00

I like thunderstorms.

I always have.

When I was a kid growing up in Dallas, a substantially bigger city than where I currently reside, what I was afraid of more than anything was robbers. Not spiders or snakes or even winged monkeys. Robbers.

The very idea of someone coming into my home, into the place where I should have been safe, was T-E-R-R-I-F-Y-I-N-G! Lil-C was afraid of them, too. I'm not sure if I did that or if she came to that conclusion on her own.

She slept on the floor of my bedroom for years because of it.

I would love to tell you that she did for the safety and security of being near her big sister. That is laughably untrue. If we were robbed, she hoped any ne'er-do-wells would step over her (thinking someone had accidentally left a blanket on the floor, perhaps?) and "get" me instead. I wasn't much better. I hoped that they would think I fell out of bed and "get" her and not notice me. Ah. Is that sisterly love or what?

Dallas sits right in the middle of a big, fat plain. There is nothing to break up a storm once it gets rolling. Often those thunderstorms would be accompanied by flash floods. What I'm saying is we had some big, bad-ass storms.

My childhood logic went something like this:

Thunderstorms are big, scary and dangerous. Why would someone want to commit a crime in such foul weather? Better to wait until the weather is good before breaking and entering.

Lame, but true. Thunderstorms equalled safety.

We had a plantation style front porch that extended along the length of the house. I remember standing there with my dad during a thunderstorm. We were protected from the storm, but had a fantastic view. Lightning lit up the sky like fireworks. Thunder crashed and shook our bones. I remember feeling completely and totally at peace.

Now, I'm all grown up. While I wouldn't enjoy being robbed and would probably freak the fuck out if a thief actually came into my home, I don't live in constant fear of them. Still, when the storms start, I breathe a little sigh of relief because even though it may not make sense anymore, I feel a little bit safer for the duration.

Nerd

2009-05-10T20:35:00.003-05:00

The rule on Mother's Day is that the husband and I pick a Mother's Day brunch to go to and Mom gets to decide what we are going to do for the day.

The husband and I picked the New Glarus Hotel, which was lovely.

She picked Star Trek.

It was fucking awesome.

It's not William Shatner's Star Trek. They were pretty much kicking ass and taking names. I'll admit I had a private little geek out moment to myself when they read the line.

What line?

Either you like Star Trek and you already know or you don't and well, it would really matter if I explained it to you 'cause you wouldn't understand anyway.

My history with Star Trek isn't something I normally confess. I wouldn't call myself a "Trekkie", but I have more than a passing acquaintance with the Star Trek franchise. I'm pretty sure I've seen all the movies. I've seen most of the original series. I've also seen parts of The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager. The only one I haven't seen was that short lived Scott Bakula one, Enterprise.

You can call me a nerd if you like. A bigger person would probably say Live Long and Prosper.

I'm going to go with fuck you instead.

I likes what I likes...

Sunburnt

2009-05-07T21:51:00.006-05:00

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

The title of this exhibit is "I am an idiot."

Today, I had my weekly meeting with my semi-new team lead, the Queen of All (QoA). It was a gorgeous day, so we decided to have the meeting outside. I sort of remembered that I hadn't put any sunblock on my arms, but since the meeting was only supposed to be a half-hour I didn't really think anything of it.

I am an idiot.

It was just the two of us since everyone else is out this week and we ended up chatting for a really long time. About an hour and a half really long time.

At some point, I knew I was getting burnt, and I still didn't manage to get out of the sun.

Why? Why would I be so fucking stupid and allow my arms to turn an attractive lobster red?

Because I am incapable of ending a conversation. I have no idea how to get out of a conversation that I want to be over. It's sort of a chronic problem. I have no concept of the graceful exit.

It fucking sucks. And (I hope!) I've learned my lesson. I don't care if I'm forced to use my fall back plan (the awkward exit) it's not worth getting sunburned. I'm 28 years old and I need to figure out how to end a fucking conversation when I want to, awkward or otherwise.

It should be noted, it wasn't so much that I wanted to be done talking to the QoA, so much as I wanted our conversation to be in the shade.

Sigh.

I am an idiot.

Ouch. Aloe anybody?

Churning Around

2009-05-05T21:53:00.003-05:00

Growing up, we had a pool in our backyard.

It's not that uncommon in Texas, but since you asked, Yes, it totally kicked ass.

My sister and I spent most of our summers soaked in chlorine. We were such water babies. We loved to swim and play around. We had tons of games we would play, underwater tea parties, gymnastics competitions (she cheated, just FYI) and ice cream parlor to name a few.

Then, we moved up north and BLAMMO, no more water. Oh, I know. There's water here, but I don't really have access to it like we did in Texas.

So, I was looking forward to trying this water aerobics class I signed up for at the Y. At worst, I figured it would be fun, nostalgic even, for me to spend an hour splashing around. At best, it would totally kick my ass and I'd be sore and barely able to finish, plus all that nostalgic, fun junk.

As it turns out, water aerobics at the Y equals social hour for middle aged women. Sure, they splash around. Perhaps they aerobicize, I can't really tell what anyone else is doing in the water. But mostly, it's social hour. They all know each other. Apparently, there is also a water aerobics class on Mondays and Wednesdays that they take together.

Maybe if I was a social butterfly, I would enjoy this and make a whole gaggle of friends. But, it's better to have a more than passing acquaintance with reality, so I think we can all admit, this just isn't going to happen.

Plus, if they spend the whole time talking, do you think this class has been kicking my ass? Let me answer that for you. No. It isn't. At all. It's ridiculously easy. I've been still doing my regular Tuesday night workout after it because it just too damn easy.

I may finish out the rest of this class, I did pay $10 whole dollars for it, so I may as well get my money's worth out of it. But, I don't think I'll be back. In addition to the downsides already mentioned, I've seen way too many completely nude middle-aged women today.

It's not pleasant.

It's disappointing because I was really hoping this might be something I could add to shake up the routine a little bit. As it turns out, if you go to the gym and do the same thing over and over (and over and over) again, eventually you get bored. Who knew?

I've been thinking about checking out a yoga studio near where I work for a little lunchtime yoga. And I'd like to drag the husband to visit the climbing gym on the east side. But, I'm not sure what else to do to keep it interesting.

When I Grow Up...

2009-05-02T09:18:00.002-05:00

My mom and I went to a tap dancing performance at the Capitol Theater last night. It was called the Soles of our Feet. A part of the performance was a tribute to Arthur Duncan.

This guy:

You'll understand why they call him the "King of Taps" around the 1:15 mark.

It wasn't just a tribute to him, he was a part of the show.

When he first came out, he tapped and sang.

I leaned over to my mom and said, "I want to be him when I grow up."

He's about a billion years old (really I think he's about 76 according to IMDb), he still doing what he loves and singing and tap dancing.

That pretty much kicks ass.

THEN! Then, there was the second part. The rest of the (much!) younger cast came out and they tapped together. And not some slow, piddly tap routine. It was insanely fast. And he was right in sync with the young kids.

Did I mention he's about a billion years old?

He was doing things with his legs at 76 that I'm pretty sure I could not do at my tender age of 28.

That's when I leaned over to my mom and said, "I think I overshot. I think I'm going to have to settle for being maybe about as half as cool as he is. Possibly one-third."

It's something to shoot for, at least.

The Power of Cheese

2009-04-29T11:00:00.002-05:00

There's no way around it. I'm having a bad week.

I wore my "Power of Cheese" shirt from Cheese Days today. I was hoping it would help power me through.

"The Power of Cheese compels you!"

So far, all it's gotten me is a speeding ticket.

I keep trying to tell myself that I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but then the little voice of evil in the back of my mind keeps cackling and says, "Yeah, that light at the end of the tunnel? Probably a train. Toot, toot! Peanut butter!"

Shut up! Stupid evil voice.

Where am I?

2009-04-28T00:05:00.002-05:00

This is where I've been all day...

... I have no idea why.

Rhyming

2009-04-25T13:11:00.005-05:00

The husband and I were watching Best Week Ever on VH1 this morning. They were talking about the controversy between Perez Hilton and Miss California.

According to Best Week Ever, Perez called Miss California "the C-word."

The husband turns to me and says, "The C-word? Does the 'c-word' rhyme with cunt?"

Yes. Yes, husband, the c-word does indeed rhyme with cunt.

He followed that with, "Oops. I meant 'punt.'"

Yes. On both accounts.

ETA: When I read this blog to the husband he said, "I said 'bunt', not 'punt'. Bunt. Bunt. Punt isn't even a word."

Thank God he's pretty.

iPod Journey

2009-04-24T00:25:00.002-05:00

I went to visit my friend, Fatty, last month. He told me that he listens to his iPod play list alphabetically through all the songs since the iPod shuffle function is suck. He even took some artists (Daughtry) off his iPod because his shuffle function loved them so much and he didn't love them quite that much.

At first, I thought he was crazy. What the hell kind of way is that to listen to music? Alphabetically? What the hell?

But then, I had to agree, the shuffle function does suck. You get the same songs over and over again no matter where you start.

So, I tried it.

I listened to all 1154 songs I currently have loaded on my iPod alphabetically. It took me one month and 20 days. I finally finished my entire play list today.

On the one hand, it was nice to get to hear songs that don't come up on the shuffle play list very often. It forced me to slow down and listen to some of the lesser known tracks on some of my Cd's.

On the other hand, it made me very impatient at times. VERY impatient. Because, of course, there were rules and I since I made the rules I couldn't break them.

Rule 1: I can skip Christmas songs, but I don't have to.

Rule 2: I can't skip a song I like just because I'm not in the mood for it.

Rule 3: I can't skip a song just because I don't know it.

Rule 4: I can skip songs I really hate, but only if I really hate them.

Anything by Colbie Caillat falls in this category. I thought I would love her when I bought her CD, but as it turns out I don't. Her voice gets on my nerves the more I hear it. Oops.

It was an interesting experiment, but I'm not sure if I'd do it again. It took too long.

Then again, I have to do something to combat shuffle suck, so it's always an option on the table.

Why do I feel like I've accomplished something worthwhile, like running a marathon, instead of something completely nonsensical?

Possibly because I'm completely delusional.

Or it's possibly because completing it thoroughly satisfies that OCD place buried deep within my heart.

I think I end up on the crazy side of the teeter-totter either way.

Blogs and Belts

2009-04-19T23:15:00.002-05:00

Bloggers are extremely useful.

People write about weird stuff. They blog about their stuff in great detail. In insane, minuscule detail.

Thank goodness they do. Our trivia team benefited from their bizarre cadre of knowledge. I don't know how we could have found some of the answers without them. We had to find a race car driver by his pit crew, which we only found from some guy's blog.

Next year, we should remember to look at the saying on the Belt's sign, so we can actually get that question right next year.

I'm tired. I'm glad we're on question 7 of hour 54.

Trivia 40 Hour 3

2009-04-17T19:10:00.003-05:00

So it begins.

The searching and questioning and googling.

Hour after hour after hour. After hour.

But, now we're still in the beginning. When it's fun and exciting and I can't wait for the next question. Instead of when I'm addicted. When I want to stop, but I continue on, for just one more question. Just one more. And then, one more.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

You can stream it on-line if your interested.

http://www.90fmtrivia.org/

If you know me and you know an answer, give the husband's cell phone a ring... unless you're here. Then just say the answer. No need to call him.

Advice

2009-04-12T20:00:00.003-05:00

Don't wear white when baking.

Especially don't wear white when baking red velvet cupcakes.

Really, really don't wear white if you're undoubtedly the type of person to make a mess and accidentally smear batter on your arms and face.

It looks like you are some sort of demon child who has just taken part in a blood orgy.

Well, maybe not that.

But something like that.

If my husband thought words like "vampire," I'm pretty sure that's what he might have thought.

Something New

2009-04-11T13:04:00.003-05:00

We got our summer mailer from the YMCA on Thursday. I've been wanting to try something new for awhile, so I decided to sign up for one of the classes they offered. This is the one I signed up for:

Hydro-Cuff-Core and More
Give yourself an entire body workout! Buoyancy cuffs, strapped to your ankles, engage your core muscles as you burn calories, build full body strength, fine tune your balance, and increase your endurance. This is an excellent cross training workout for beginner athletes or advanced athletes that want a fun and challenging high energy class.

Sounds fun... maybe? Hopefully. Or at least different, which is what I want. According to the mailer, the class started June 22. But, when signed up for it I ended up signed up for the class that begins April 20.

Yikes!

That's really soon.

That means I have to go shopping for a bathing suit. Today.

Because Trivia is next weekend, so this is the only day I've got to go.

Double yikes!

Wish me luck.

Warning

2009-04-07T18:51:00.004-05:00

There have been some people who are getting on my nerves lately.

One of them doesn't read this blog, the other does.

I've had it with the passive aggressive behavior. I don't do passive aggressive. I do plain old aggressive aggressive. So, you might want to think about the outcome you're looking for before you continue to press me.

I've been nice. I've been understanding.

You don't want to like me. That's fine. Unlike you, I don't need to be liked in order to be okay and at peace with the world.

But, I've had enough of the passive aggressive nonsense.

We're not in competition, so knock it off already.

If the cards aren't dealt in your favor in the future, just remember, I warned you. That's the best I've got to offer.

Food Goodness

2009-04-06T22:18:00.003-05:00

I had some amazing, amazing food in San Francisco. There is such bliss in eating truly excellent food. It's a good thing I'm not around it all the time or I don't know if I could maintain a decent level of self control, but having it is just so lovely.

One of the places I went with JR was Nolas, a New Orleans themed restaurant. We both got excited for an appetizer that had fried okra in it.

Sometimes I feel so thoroughly "Wisconsin-ized" that I forget there are these parts of me, locked away, that belong to someplace else.

Fried okra and corn bread stuffing (both of which were available at this restaurant) belong there.

So, for the day when I go back to San Francisco...

The Catch

Where I had a warm arugula salad with white corn, bacon, goat cheese and balsamic vinaigrette.

And the seared mahi-mahi with white corn risotto.

Nolas

There we had NO L.A. 'Frites' which was basically fries, sweet potato fries and fried okra.

I had Andouille & Cornbread stuffed pork chops.

I Left My Heart...

2009-04-04T19:04:00.000-05:00

Seriously, this town is beautiful. I can see why so many people are willing to put up with insanely expensive real estate, high sales tax and income tax in order to live here. Every where you look it is just so gorgeous and scenic.

I went sight seeing today with my friend JR and another guy from work that he knows.

We went to lunch at a restaurant called "Chows" in the Castro. Then, we went down that hill that curves a lot. And on over to the Golden Gate bridge. Lovely, lovely, lovely.

There is something kind of perfect about spending the day sight-seeing in San Francisco with two gay guys.

Greek Conference

2009-04-03T00:38:00.003-05:00

This morning, I saw that there were quite a few events having to do with some sort of Greek conference there. I thought they meant, Greek, like Greek. You know My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Athens, whatnot.

Silly me.

I came back to the hotel after work to find the place just CRAWLING with frat boys and sorority gals as far as the eye could see.

Fantastic.

Sheltered Life

2009-04-01T23:34:00.002-05:00

Normally, I live such a sheltered, routine life when I go on these work trips I'm like an ADD kid on crack. My mind moves over different subject matter at about a million miles per hour. Since, half of the purpose of this blog is to purge the junk from my head so that it doesn't torture me, here is some of the junk that has been piling up the last couple of days.

1. I wish the Fitness Center in my hotel wasn't on the other side from the hotel rooms which means I have to walk across the lobby, entrance, hotel restaurant and hotel bar all hot and sweaty after I work out.

P.S. This hotel is fucking giant and like a giant maze.

2. Traveling for work ruins traveling for personal reasons. For work, I stay in really nice, plush hotels. How could I stay in a shit hole for personal travel after that?

3. Sometimes, I don't have the television on because I want to watch it, but because I like the colors and the noise. Turns out I have more in common with babies than I thought.

4. There are trains in San Francisco. They travel really fast. I have watched to many movies, so it makes me really nervous every time one of them rushes by. I keep imagine myself, car stalled on the tracks. It is totally irrational, but my heart pounds a little bit when they zoom by.

5. In Madison, I saw a dude with totally crazy hair in the air terminal. It was kind of a mullet, only fluffier and curlier. But, not naturally curly, like he went out of his way to put product in his hair and make it look that way. Guess who I got to sit by on the flight to Minneapolis?

That's right Crazy-man Mullet. I didn't allow myself to look at him for the entire flight. I knew if I did, I would just giggle and that would be rude.

6. Traveling alone is weird, but not unpleasant necessarily.

7. I was a good Samaritan yesterday. I found a credit card on the ground in the lobby and turned it into the front desk. I debated about what to do since if I were that guy I would probably comb the lobby looking for my lost credit card, but oh well, he can suck it because I tried to do the nice thing by turning it in so his identity doesn't get stolen.

8. I love pepperoni. I love bell peppers. You'd think the combination of the both of them on a pizza would be awesome, but if I'm being honest I'd just rather have plain cheese. I don't need a lot of junk on my pizza mucking things up.

I don't like fruit in my yogurt either. It's pretentious. The fruit, not eating yogurt with fruit in it.

Okay, I'm coming down off the high of finally getting food tonight. Now, I'm sleepy. I don't have the patience for writing more stuff. I'm done for now, but don't get smug. It might happen again.

Shark Week

2009-03-30T16:26:00.003-05:00

We ate at a Mongolian Barbecue restaurant for my mother's birthday this weekend.

They give you a selection of proteins, vegetables and sauces to add to your dish before they stir fry it in front of you. One of the protein selections was shark.

I tried it, just because I've never had it before.

Shark? Tastes like chicken.

Hardware Throwdown

2009-03-25T13:13:00.002-05:00

So, as some of you know, I've been renovating my upstairs half-bath. (It's step one in my plan to renovate my house and then eventually take over the world.) I've been busy removing hideous wallpaper, repainting and whatnot. I have some ideas in mind for some other things to change, and to that end I've been scouting out options at the hardware store.

I've bought everything so far from the Ace Hardware in Monroe, but it's a teeny, tiny store, and thus doesn't meet many renovating needs beyond the basics. Ace is sweet and I try to spend local whenever I can, but for the most part, Ace was knocked out before he even entered the ring.

Last Friday, the husband and I went over to Home Depot. Home Depot seems like the lux of the hardware store world. It's pretty and clean. It's displays are pretty slick. Their commercials are everywhere (did you know TONS of Olympic athletes work at Home Depot? Side note: this makes me sad for them).

Today, I stopped by Menards. I've always had a bias against Menards. I've thought of it as the "ghetto" hardware store. It's floor is weird. It kind of smells funny. And their commercials are too loud. When we first moved here, the parents spent some time in Menards picking out light fixtures. It took too long and I was really fucking thirsty by the time we left, so every time I think of Menards I get thirsty. I've avoided that place for years, due to that fact alone.

Yet, the winner between the two for home renovating needs and selection is Menards. By a clear fucking mile. In fact, I spit on Home Depot and it's poor selection. It's like some "inspirational" sports movie. Menards is the underdog, scrappy with bruises and scars all over his face and every one underestimates him. Home Depot is the pretty boy every one bets on and he spends most of his time winking at pretty girls from the ring. Yet, when they go glove to glove, Menards is the one left standing.

I was so disappointed after going to Home Depot last week, that I considered giving up some of the bigger changes I wanted to make to the bathroom if it was going to be this giant pain in the ass that I was going to have to pay someone else tons of money to special order and then do for me (it's only fun if I can do most of it myself). But, after my little jaunt to Menards, I'm re-energized. We'll have to save up some money, but the costs aren't unreasonable and in the end I think it will be something I'll really love.

Pink Lemonade

2009-03-24T14:07:00.003-05:00

Is pink lemonade really raspberry lemonade?

At work, they have those Crystal Light packets that will turn your bottle of water into lemonade or orange drink or green tea. I usually use the plain old lemonade packet.

I get kind of sick of lemonade though. Unfortunately, my only other options are Classic Orange, Raspberry Ice or Raspberry Lemonade.

It's unfortunate mostly because I hate raspberries. I want to say that I hate them with the fiery passion of a thousand suns, but that would be an exaggeration. So imagine that fiery passion, only slightly less intense and you'll get the picture about how I feel about raspberries.

So, if in fact, pink lemonade is really raspberry lemonade, I'm going to have to re-think my whole stance on pink lemonade. I used to fall solidly into the "pro-pink lemonade" camp.

I had hoped that pink lemonade was really just regular lemonade colored pink. Maybe I was just kidding myself. I feel so disillusioned. It feels like when you are a kid and you realize that "Santa" is actually just Mom and Dad. Just. Like. That.

I Hate Bella Swan

2009-03-22T22:24:00.004-05:00

I do. I'm sorry. (Not really.)

She is horrible. She is one of the most annoying characters in literature that I have ever come across. Whiny, little martyr.

When I originally read Twilight, I thought it was alright but not great. New Moon is just boring, except at the very end. Eclipse is a terrible, terrible book. I hate it. At some point, I want to slap all of the main characters. I've heard a lot of complaints about Breaking Dawn, but for me, even if it's kind of ridiculous, it's the most entertaining of the books.

I really don't understand why people are so in love with these books. Jacob is a brat and a sexual predator. Edward is too-good-to-be-true and a little bit of a prig. Bella's a dumb twat.

What's the appeal?

I watched the movie this weekend with Sist-A. It was okay, in that I didn't mind watching it and it was entertaining for what it was. Kristen Stewart is a terrible actress though. I don't think she could emote her way out of a paper bag. Or maybe she just doesn't understand the difference between all the other emotions and being mildly constipated?

This whole series makes me feel old. I just want to shake a cane at "kids today" and fondly reminisce about the "old days" when they knew how to construct a narrative and create likable characters.

Fraud!

2009-03-17T21:35:00.003-05:00

You think you know somebody!

We've been planning a weekend to go see APT with the family this summer. I bought the tickets and the parental units were working on getting some hotel rooms in Spring Green.

So, I was calling my dad and getting e-mails from my stepmother going back and forth about what to do when I got this email from my darling, sweet stepmother:

Nevermind. I took a chance and called APT pretending to be you. They took care of me.

Wait. What?

You pretended to be me?

Wow. That's not a sentence I ever thought I'd read anywhere. Ever.

In the end, it really all worked out in the end as we were able to get the hotel rooms we wanted, but still... kind of disturbing.

Question: Baked Goods

2009-03-15T22:14:00.001-05:00

If you ice a muffin, can you call it a cupcake?

That wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be

2009-03-15T21:13:00.003-05:00

That's what she said.

Ha.

No, really. Today, in addition to going to the grocery store, hardware store, gym and baking cupcakes (strawberry with vanilla icing AND sprinkles, delicious!), I stripped the wall paper out of our half bath. It's been a busy day. I'm tired.

It was the most hideous looking wall paper known to man. I have hated it ever since we moved in. I put off taking it down because I thought it would be this big ordeal because in order to really get it all down I needed to move the toilet in that bathroom.

As it turns out, both moving a toilet and stripping wallpaper are not as hard as I thought they were. Really, start to finish, the whole project only took a couple of hours. I'm not completely done yet as I still have to fix the walls and repaint the bathroom, but still, I should have done this years ago.

It looks so much better. Of course, it wouldn't have been such a big relief if I had done it years ago. I wouldn't have come to loathe that fucking wallpaper, so I guess it all works out in the end. Right?

I feel so handy.

What does your birthday month say about you?

2009-03-11T09:44:00.003-05:00

According to Facebook my birthday month says that I am,

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes
nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying

Legend
True, so true
I like to think so.
I suppose we could pretend, but in reality, not even a little
Um, maybe?
What the fuck?

Seriously, a reputation for what?
Being awesome?
Well, that's okay then.

Sick and Wrong

2009-03-10T22:40:00.004-05:00

I came across this article today on MSN.

It is a brave and honorable thing to be willing to defend your country. Although I don't think much of the war most of these men and women are fighting, that's politics. It doesn't make their national service less. I don't understand why they volunteer to join the armed forces. Do we ever do the right thing by them? It's just sick and gross.

FORT BRAGG, North Carolina - Staff Sgt. Jason Jonas says when he goes to bed at night, he is terrified his medication will cause him to oversleep and miss morning roll call again.
His commanders are fully aware the paratrooper wounded in Afghanistan has been diagnosed with a sleep disorder, because he is one of about 10,000 soldiers assigned to the Army's Warrior Transition units, created for troops recovering from injuries.
Instead of gingerly nursing them back to health, however, commanders at Fort Bragg's transition unit readily acknowledge holding them to the same standards as able-bodied soldiers in combat units, often assigning chores as punishment for minor infractions.
In fact, the unit has a discipline rate three times as high as Fort Bragg's main tenant, the 82nd Airborne Division, and transition units at two other bases punish their soldiers even more frequently than the one at Fort Bragg, according to an Associated Press review of records obtained through the Freedom of Information Act.
"In my 10 years of service I have often seen soldiers mistreated, abused or left hanging, but never have I seen an entire unit collectively mentally and physically break down its members," said Jonas, a 28-year-old from Tempe, Arizona.
Adding insult to injury
Jonas is one of 11 current or former soldiers who have spent time in Fort Bragg's transition unit and say that its officers are either indifferent to their medical needs or trying to drive injured men and women from the military. Some complain they are being punished for the very injuries that landed them in the unit.
"It is the military's way of dealing with it: `You're a fake. You need to go back to work,'" said Pfc. Roman Serpik, 25, who enlisted in Duluth, Georgia. He said he injured his head and back in a practice parachute jump last April.
Jonas suffered a concussion on a jump in 1999 at Fort Bragg, and military doctors determined that that led him to develop narcolepsy, a disorder that causes people to fall asleep abruptly, he said. He provided copies of his medical profile to the AP to confirm he has the disorder.
He said medication for his condition made him miss formation five times, resulting in a demotion that cost him $400 a month.
Officers in the transition battalion at Fort Bragg's Womack Army Medical Center would not discuss individual soldiers' medical or disciplinary records, citing privacy laws. Speaking generally, they said the way to get soldiers back on their feet is discipline, not accepting excuses.
"Do we hold our capable warriors in transition accountable to these standards, to include the Uniform Code of Military Justice and the various Army regulations? Unapologetically, yes, we do," said Lt. Col. Jay Thornton, the unit's commander.
Thornton said soldiers are "helped, not harmed, by maintaining an appropriate level of structure and military discipline."
Advocates for wounded soldiers question whether the tough-love approach is an effort to get rid of soldiers considered unlikely to return to regular duty.
"It creates a hostile environment where soldiers buckle and take a low-balled disability rating and benefits just to get out when they can," said retired Army Lt. Col. Mike Parker.
The Warrior Transition system was established two years ago to improve treatment of wounded soldiers after the scandal over shoddy conditions at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington.Soldiers assigned to the units have combat injuries such as amputations and mental health problems such as post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as minor ailments that didn't come from combat.
The transition unit at Fort Bragg issued what is known as an Article 15 — used for minor misconduct that doesn't rise to the level of a court-martial — roughly once a month for every 135 soldiers through the first nine months of 2008.
At Fort Knox, Kentucky, the rate was even higher — one Article 15 per month for every 96 soldiers. The highest rate was at Fort Drum, New York, home to the 10th Mountain Division, where the injured warriors' commanders issued one Article 15 per month for every 76 soldiers.On the more lenient end, the Article 15 rate for the transition battalion at Fort Riley in Kansas, home of the 1st Infantry Division, was one for every 309 soldiers, and one for every 371 soldiers in the transition unit at Hawaii's Schofield Barracks, the base of the 25th Infantry Division.
Flawed Army policy?
The differences in the discipline rates point to a flaw in policy rather than pockets of misbehaving soldiers, said Paul Rieckhoff, founder and executive director of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America.
"We will be looking to the Army to take swift action and hold the appropriate people accountable," he said.
Commanders at the transition units at Forts Knox and Riley and at Schofield Barracks all declined to comment on how they handle discipline. At Fort Drum, spokeswoman Kate Agresti said only that the base's transition battalion "follows appropriate military guidelines" that take a soldier's medical condition into account.
Jaime Cavazos, a spokeswoman with the Army Medical Command, declined to speculate on why the rate of Article 15s in the units differs so widely. "I suspect you'd find similar variances between line units throughout the Army," Cavazos said.
The current and former soldiers interviewed by the AP told similar stories about discipline within the unit at Fort Bragg. Most spoke on condition of anonymity because of fear of reprisal and warnings from above not to speak with reporters.
Sgt. Sheree Snow, 30, of Indianapolis, said she was evacuated from Iraq to Germany with fibroid tumors in February 2008, had a hysterectomy that May and was prescribed pain and sleeping medication for months afterward while at Fort Bragg. She said the medication led her to miss nine morning formations, and when she was trying to wean herself off the painkillers, an entire day.
Thornton, her commander, punished her with 14 days of extra duty and docked her two months' pay, she said.
"The leadership isn't trained to work with wounded soldiers," said Snow, who returned to her primary assignment at Fort Eustis, Virginia, this year. "I feel that the unit holds us to such high standards because they do not know better."
Jason Thomasson, a 34-year-old Iraq veteran from Winston-Salem, North Carolina, said he was sent to the unit after developing post-traumatic stress disorder, which he said led to extreme paranoia. He missed formations and left Fort Bragg without permission. For that he was demoted and eventually kicked out of the Army.
"Solders are being punished for injuries that they sustained while they were defending the nation," Thomasson said. "I was a model soldier before I had PTSD."

You Know It's True

2009-03-10T22:30:00.002-05:00

The husband says it's mean, but I don't care. It might be mean, but it's also true.

The blind guy on American Idol just isn't that good. His voice is mediocre at best and he probably wouldn't be here if he wasn't blind. Can we just get over that already and let him go home?

Or at a minimum get a haircut? He probably won't notice and his crazy hair is driving me nuts.

Kris Allen, on the other hand, is an adorable little monkey.

I want to put him in my pocket and carry him around.

He can hang out there with Bob Costas. Have you ever seen a more perfect pocket-sized man than Bob Costas? Kris could sing to me and Bob could tell me how the scenery is majestic and the athletes are triumphant.

It would be awesome.

Chicken Little

2009-03-10T21:55:00.004-05:00

Pontiac school board lays off all 622 of district's employees

LA school board approves big layoff notice

When we were studying Ancient Rome in high school, my history teacher asked the class whether we would prefer to live in the ascendancy or the decline of a civilization. When teachers are expendable, I think we might just be in the decline.

It makes me sick.

That's definitely what LA needs. Fewer teachers.

Why does our society not place a value on education?

The sky? Is. Falling.

Ah, Ms. Austen

2009-03-07T00:58:00.005-06:00

I just got done watching the movie version of Persuasion.

Pride and Prejudice is probably my favorite of all her books, but Persuasion probably runs second for me. I saw the BBC version of Persuasion. It wasn't even very good, but still, even mediocre Austen is better than most.

Whatever else you might say about her, she was the master of yearning. So little amounts to so much.

And, just a little sigh is reserved for her men.

Mr. Darcy ardently admired Elizabeth Bennett, in spite of everything.

Captain Wentworth never stopped loving Anne Elliot, even after 8 years of heartbreak.

Maybe more than a little sigh is reserved for her men.

Questions.

2009-03-06T12:22:00.003-06:00

Some girls make statements sound like questions. Those girls will say something and make their tone go up on the end. Instead of saying, "Look! It's a hooker and her pimp," it sounds like, "Look! It's a hooker and her pimp?"

Today, I noticed that when I ask questions (usually in writing), I often ask them as statements. I have to go back and edit and add the question marks in all the appropriate places.
For example I wrote, "What is it that you want to do [with this activity], but can't."

I do this All. The. Time.

Do you think that means anything?

Exercise

2009-03-05T15:42:00.005-06:00

I was in a waiting room today reading Good Housekeeping (it was the only magazine available that wasn't Parents), and they had an article on exercising at work.

The second of the three exercises instructed readers to:

Gently move your head forwards and backwards without tipping your chin forward or moving your head backwards. Repeat 8 or 9 times.

Am I being stupid? How the fuck do you move your head backwards without moving your head backwards?

Truthfully...

2009-03-05T12:24:00.001-06:00

I don't care what you say, breasts are just not worth the trouble. Ugh.

Ooch!

2009-03-03T10:13:00.003-06:00

GameBoy brought in brownies for our team meeting today. They were delicious. Normally, I'm not a fan of walnuts in brownies, but these were truly excellent.

I was interrogating him about it after the meeting and apparently this was his first time baking. Ever! Color me impressed.

Why did he make brownies?
His girlfriend's present isn't going to arrive in time for her birthday, so he baked her some brownies and he brought us the extras. Can I get an 'awww'? That is so sweet. I've never seen this side of him before. Usually he's all Viking camp, martial arts and video games.

The downside is that I don't normally eat brownies at 9AM, so my stomach is sort of annoyed with me for filling it up with chocolate and processed sugar instead of yogurt. As good as it was, eating it was a bad idea. My stomach hurts. Boo.

I Should Have Done This Years Ago

2009-03-01T20:24:00.002-06:00

I swear the woman who owned our house before we did LOVED to put pictures on the walls. Every two feet. On every wall in the house.

There were about half a billion (at least) holes in the walls when we moved in. Including wall anchors. Mostly I've just been ignoring them for the last 3 1/2 years.

Then, when we were in San Antonio last weekend we bought a painting and had it shipped home. I hung it on the wall and there were two ugly holes above it and one right below it. It was driving me crazy. I didn't want to look at those stupid fucking holes every time I looked at my beautiful picture.

So, yesterday I went to the hardware store and bought some Spackle and a putty knife and went to work. I pulled out all the damn anchors, spackled, sanded and painted all of the holes I could find. I even touched up the paint in some places that had been dinged or scraped over the last couple of years.

The walls look SO much better. I can't believe I waited this long to do this. No more holes around my painting, no more holes anywhere. Yay!

It feels so good to have this checked off my list of things to do I've already started planning home improvement project number 2: The upstairs half-bathroom.

The ugliest wall paper on the planet is falling off the walls and the door hinges are rusty.

If I can get this done before August of 2012 I'll still be ahead of the game!