Is Yoga a Requirement?

I was on yahoo.com today and I ran across this advertisement. It confuses me...

Snakes on a Plane

Usually, I take great pains to avoid any movie that might fall into the horror genre. I don't get any great jollies out of being afraid. 

I will occasionally break this rule. Unfortunately, in a show of really poor judgement, I always seem to break these rules when home alone and my poor dogs are forced into sitting very close to me so I have someone around to protect me. Not that the husband would be that much help in the case of a homicidal maniac at any rate. 

Tonight, the husband and I watched Snakes on a Plane. I was mildly concerned before watching it that it would scare me in spite of the hokey, stupid plot. It is extremely easy to scare me. I was scared by The Frighteners. It stars Michael J. Fox who is possibly the least scary man alive, for pity's sake!

Well, as luck would have it, Snakes on a Plane is one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen. There was no opportunity at any point to be mildly thrilled, much less afraid. 

However there were some fantastic quotes from the movie. I'm going to share two of them with you because I think they hold up, even out of context.

"Fucking snake! Get off my dick!" - Dude who I think you can guess what happened to him

"I have had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!" - Sammy J

You might want to say the second one to yourself a few times. It gets better the more you say it. And, at the point it comes in the movie, I have to say, I couldn't agree with you more Sammy J! I couldn't agree with you more.

Yay! For me at least!

Tomorrow I'm on vacation! Yay for me! 

Not so yay for the husband. He's on vacation too, but he's getting his wisdom teeth out. Poor baby.

But still... yay for me! 

New Eyes

I read this quote today:

"Intelligence isn't a virtue, it's a quality. It's like hair color, or height: it earns you absolutely nothing. If you think that's all you are, you are trading on a seriously devalued currency, because you're wrong. There are more important things inside people. It's up to us to find them."

It doesn't matter where it comes from. Okay, it was from Jacob on TWOP in a recap of American Idol last night. Doesn't make it any less true.

I know a lot of people who have put their own value and placed value on others based on qualities (athleticism, intelligence, beauty).

Let's be clear.
Athleticism is not hard work. It is not dedication. It is not loyalty and determination. It is a certain amount of natural grace and an innate understanding of the mechanics of sport.

Intelligence does not equal educated. It does not indicate a desire to learn. It is not proof of curiosity. It is merely the ability to absorb new information and ideas quickly.

Beauty is entirely subjective and no matter what, always flawed.

They are qualities that people have no control over (with I suppose the exception being plastic surgery), yet we treat them as something valued and something they earned.

I guess my point is that I call bullshit. We might as well be judging others on toe length or, oh let's say, skin color. Most of the people (I know of) who read this blog would never judge someone based on the color of their skin, but I think most of us have called someone a moron in disgust or shied away from someone because they were kind of, well, gross.

There are virtues that are more difficult to come by, that take longer to develop and are hard to ascertain upon acquaintance.

Kindness, the true kind that you show towards everyone, not the fake kind that you turn on and off
Generosity, the kind that comes from the spirit and has no strings attached and no expectations
Compassion, the kind that allows you to put yourself in another person's shoes to understand them in a primarily non-judgmental way
Integrity, easy to claim, difficult to live
etc.

I'm not trying to preach. I'm as guilty as anybody else of judging people based on qualities they have no control over, rather than the choices they've made to sculpt who they've become. Who am I kidding? I don't go to the gym 7 days a week because I only care about my health.

Life is complicated. People are complicated. I don't have any conclusions about this issue or any plan of action to take now. But, I think it's something I'm going to have to think about for awhile and for starters, I think maybe I've been letting it be simple for too long.

Bossy Poster

I've been noticing more and more, at the dentist, at my hairstylist, at my ob/gyn (TMI?), that they are putting stuff on the ceiling to look at when you are lying back to do, whatever it is that they do.

My mind is always going, going, going. I can get bored easily and it's nice to have something to focus on. It's unnecessary, but appreciated.

At the dentist today, the poster they had on the ceiling was "Life's Little Instructions." Although it was more than enough to keep me occupied while they were digging around in my mouth, I was a little annoyed by the bossy tone of the poster.

"Sing in the shower, plant a tree on your birthday, carry jumper cables in your car, never refuse homemade brownies, wear polished shoes, have a dog..."

Seriously, shut up! Stupid fucking poster! (Have I ever mentioned that I hate being told what to do?) Although, done x3 on that last one.

My favorite instruction?
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

I'm not sure I can even imagine what that would be like. I think it might be one of the signs of the apocalypse.

Rental Cars

Ever since the car accident (3 weeks ago already!!!), I've been driving a rental car. It's a blue 2008 Chevy Cobalt. Jealous?

If so, I don't think you've ever driven one. They're nothing to write home about.

Here's the problem with me driving a rental car: I went to Target this morning. After not finding what I was looking for, I wandered out into the parking lot in the general direction that I parked in. I didn't spot my car immediately, so I got confused about the row I parked in, especially since I made the mistake of not parking in my usual location. I wandered over another row.

Did I mention it's fucking freezing in Wisconsin right now? Below zero freezing?

It's only at this point after wandering around in below zero weather that I realized that I have been looking for my car, instead of the stupid rental car. The Cobalt doesn't even really have a distinctive shape, so I was practically on top of it before I realized I had located the correct vehicle.

This accident has been a real life lesson for me. Thanks Fate! Remind me to return the favor sometime! (In my head, this is when I shake my fist at the ceiling. Angrily.)

Things I have learned:
1. My car is awesome. I miss it. A lot.
2. Rental cars suck.
3. Insurance companies suck.
4. Causing an accident is OK. All will be taken care of for you.
5. You will rue the day you were ever hit by someone else. Everything will be as long, drawn out and painful as possible.
Awesome!

Talky-talky

Everybody thinks my husband is a quiet, nice guy. And so he is, until you get to know him. 

Now, granted, sometimes the husband can be a real bastard (who isn't sometimes?), but this post isn't about that. The thing to know about the husband is, once you get to know him, he won't. shut. up. He is one talky son-of-a-bitch. He talks to me. He talks to the dogs. He talks to himself. Once he gets home, sometimes he just won't quit making noise. 

We started watching Band of Brothers last weekend (which is really good so far and you should see if you haven't already). Tonight, we were watching another couple of episodes and the husband just kept right on talking. 

I had to make a rule. There is no talking during Band of Brothers. 

I know. I'm the big, bad mean wife, right? That's fine as long as you shut the fuck up during Band of Brothers. He's allowed to (and does, unfortunately) talk during other movies. There are only certain ones I ban him from speaking during, so don't feel too bad for him.

It isn't for nothing that they say, "Silence is golden."