Road Maps

It's been almost a year since I last blogged.

In the last year...

My divorce was finalized...

... and my ex-husband got engaged to his girlfriend of four months, two months after our divorce was finalized.

My sister and I made up... again. It seems to have stuck more this time. It's been 6 months and we're still talking. Win!

My step-sister and I broke up... technically, I was dumped. We were fine. Went to a Brewer's game together and then *boom* gone. I haven't heard from her in 10 months. Proof that there are no trustworthy people on this planet.

I dated two boys, one for short, one for longer. They were both of the same cut and quality, which is to say, not very high. I have no taste in men... apparently, so I'm taking a break. More, more and more proof that there are no trustworthy people on this planet, including myself.

I went to Costa Rica for a month. I wish I would have spent my time there better. It was beautiful, but I was partially homesick for my puppies and one of the above mistakes most of the time I was away. That doesn't mean that I didn't have a good time. I went zip-lining, twice. I walked suspension bridges. I ran on the beach. I ate rice and beans. It was lovely. It's just slightly tinged with regret.

Now, I'm back. Back in my old life. I work. I spend time with the dogs. I am alone. Almost, all the time. I am unmoored and drifting through this life with no purpose and no hope for the future. I have no one, no idea, no plan to anchor myself to.

If I keep busy, I don't have to think about it that much.

I need... something.

A LIttle Help From My Friends

I've been sick this week. Trivia last weekend must have gotten to me. On Tuesday, I thought I was just still tired and spring allergies were acting up. By Wednesday, I was kind of miserable.

I tried to go to work this morning. Steph and I were supposed to teach a class all day today together. I didn't want to leave her hanging.

J-boy texted me and asked how I was feeling this morning. I told him I felt like suck.

Two minutes later I got a phone call from the Saint.

It went a lot like this:

Saint: You need to go home.

Me: I'm okay...

Saint: You sound terrible. Go home.

Me: I'm not planning on staying all day...

Saint: I can be there in 15 minutes to drive for Steph.

Me: Actually, I was planning to teach my part this morning...

Saint: Do you hate yourself? Go home. I'll be there in 15 minutes.

Me: Ok, mom.

There is no arguing with the Saint. She orders you home, you go home.

The Saint helped out with the class in the morning and J-boy helped in the afternoon. It's nice that there are people I can count on to pick up the slack so I can stay home and be miserable in peace.

Writing this blog was taxing. I'm going to go lay down now.

Seasons

I never thought I was one of those people who were affected by the seasons. In fact, I thought that people who claimed that they were affected were full of shit.

Then.

Then, the sun came out. I have spent time outdoors whenever possible since the weather started getting nice. I can't get enough of the sunshine on my skin.

On days when I spend time outside, I'm unreasonably happy.

I thought I was going crazy happy.

I'm pretty sure it's due to the weather.

Who knew?

I stand corrected.

Pimp

Have you tried Special K's Fruit Crisps?

They are fantastic. They are the closest you are going to get to a Pop-Tart for 100 calories.

Hmmmm... remember Pop-Tarts? No, not really. Sigh.

I keep pimping the Fruit Crisps to everybody I know, cause when you don't get junk food, even junk food adjacent is a happy, delicious thing.

But, seriously, they're really pretty good.

You. Are. Welcome.

Yikes!

So, about a month ago I got a Facebook friend request from Dude. I didn't really know who he was, but he lives close to me and he works at the car dealership where I get my oil changed. I thought maybe he was the guy I talk to up there, so I accepted the friend request. I thought, why not?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Why not, she thought naively. Bah!

Dude Facebook chats me now. He's sent me his cell number at least six times so that I can "text him."

Did I forget to mention that Dude is married with a two year old son!!!

You know how I know this? It says so on his Facebook profile.

Why would I text a married man? What would we text about?

Even if I didn't get a Tiger Woods/Jesse James vibe from this guy, it would be weird.

Here's the problem:

He works at the place where I get my oil changed. What the hell am I supposed to do about that? I can't unfriend him. I think he'll notice and then "magically" all the oil leaks out of my car and I have to pay for expensive repairs?

I'm not texting him. That's not happening.

I'm doing my best to ignore him.

Boys are so weird.

Bliss... In Donut Form

There is a treat circle at work that I participate in. Every Monday there is a new treat, red velvet cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, blondies, etc. Some are good, some are excellent, all are welcome.

This morning, Jigglypuff brought in donuts. So, I had a chocolate iced donut. With sprinkles. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've had a donut? Years. It'll be years before I have another one, but holy buckets it was good.

Has anyone ever done a study on the addictive properties of sugar? Because when I put that donut in my mouth, the amount of bliss it brought was a little obscene. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

I'm not bragging.... oh wait, maybe I am.

Dishes

I hate doing dishes.

I don't know why, I just do. I leave them until they pile up so high it kind of disgusts me or until I run out of utensils to eat with. Then, I finally do the dishes.

I let them pile up this week because every night this week I've looked at them and thought, 'ugh! I can't deal with this tonight!'

And then, when I finally did ALL those horrible dishes tonight, it took less than 15 minutes.

So dumb! Just do it! (Thanks, Nike.)

And yet... right now, I sit here eating pudding with a spatula because I refuse to wash a spoon.

Leopards, their spots and all that jazz...