Musicality

I got an iTunes gift card recently, so I spent some time trolling for music online over the weekend.

I considered several different CDs before I actually bought one.

First up, I thought of Fame Monster by Lady Gaga. I definitely want to buy this CD at some point, but I kind of wanted something from an artist I didn't already have.

Next, I considered getting Awake by Skillet. I really like their song Monster, but then I found out they are or maybe were a Christian rock band. Hmmm, I hate to be a snob, but can a Christian band really rock it out?

Last, for kicks, I checked out I Dreamed a Dream from Susan Boyle. Her voice is so pretty. Sigh. But, um, this is not the music I normally listen to.

Can you guess which album I picked?

If you said Susan Boyle, then congratulations, you picked a winner!

Her music is not what I normally listen to, but damn her voice is pretty. It's strange to hear that voice covering the Stones, the Monkees and Madonna, but it was kind of lovely.

I'm a little embarrassed that I bought a Susan Boyle album. Oh suck it up! I like it, I don't care what anyone else thinks!

For the record, I've listened to Monster about 20 times since I bought it and I don't hear anything religious in the lyrics. So, I'm probably eventually going to buy Awake anyway. I dig it.

Stretchy

So... stretching, what's up with that?

There are two guys at my gym who spend substantial amounts of time stretching.

CollegeKid stretches sometimes downstairs, sometimes upstairs by the treadmills. But, it's not uncommon for him to spend a solid 20 minutes stretching before he runs.

TallGuy stretches downstairs. He spent at least 40 minutes stretching tonight. He started when I was about 5 minutes into my run and then he was still stretching when I left. Why does he need to stretch for so long? At some point, aren't you stretched already? I don't know that I even know enough different ways to stretch that I could find a way to fill up 40 minutes.

It did provide some amusement for me tonight though. TallGuy had a rubber band thing that he used to stretch by wrapping the end of it around his shoe. He lifted up his leg with it and the rubber band slipped off and snapped him in the face.

I tried not to laugh (out loud), but I'm pretty sure I snorted. It was hilarious. I had to put my face in my hands and look away.

That's what you get for trying to be limber, dude. Suck it up.

Designer Snuggie

Yes, yes, yes.

I wasn't into the Snuggie. Blue, red. Blah. No thank you.

But, thankfully, they've seen the light. They are now making Snuggies in "luxurious leopard", "stunning zebra" and "classic camel."

Now, I'll be able to look fashionable when I wear my blanket with sleeves. And who doesn't want to look hot sitting on the couch? (Note: I already look hot just sitting on my couch. The designer Snuggie only makes me hotter.)

I'm a little disappointed in "classic camel" which is basically just brown, but "stunning zebra?" Sign me the fuck up!

Men in White Coats

I keep looking out the window to see if they're here yet. Not yet, but I'm sure they're coming.

I bought one of those bag frozen dinners at the grocery store this weekend. You know the kind that comes with chicken, vegetables and pasta in the same bag? It was pretty cheap and comes with 3 servings. Perfect... sort of.

I decided to split up the ingredients so that I could keep two portions frozen and only make one portion for dinner tonight.

Carrot in the pan, carrot in bag 1, carrot in bag 2.

Chicken, chicken, chicken.

Pasta, pasta, pasta.

Broccoli, broccoli, broccoli.

I knew when I got to the corn that there was something wrong with me.

They'll have to get past Joe and Milo to get to me, but I know they're coming... sneaky bastards.

The High Cost of Being Poor

I didn't have anything better to do yesterday, so I went shopping.

Exciting? Maybe if it hadn't been for groceries.

Since I had some time to kill, I did a little comparison shopping.

We've got four places to buy groceries here:

I can shop the Pig, Pick N Save, Brennans or Wal-Mart.

Brennans is top notch, but waaaay too expensive and more of a niche story anyway. Although, I love the free samples!

The Pig is kind of worthless.

They don't even sell beef jerky... wtf?

That leaves Pick N Save and Wal-Mart.

Pick N Save is my normal grocery store, but except for Natures Valley Peanut Butter granola bars, it sells all of my comparison items at a higher price than Wally World (on average $0.34 per item).

However, Wal-Mart doesn't sell the environmentally friendly, non-animal testing cleaning products and paper products that I normally buy. So, I'll have to go to Pick N Save for that stuff anyway.

Even though it may make a little pin-prick in my soul, I think I'm going to have to shop for some of my groceries at Wal-Mart. I just can't justify spending that much more money per item for the exact same thing right now when every dollar counts. Ugh.

13 Days of Halloween

I'll be sad to see Halloween come and go this year. Not for the costumes (which I don't plan to wear), the adorable kids (which I don't plan to turn on the light for this year because I can't really afford it) or the candy (which I don't really eat).

I'll be sad to see Halloween go because it means the 13 Days of Halloween are over on ABC Family.

They have been showing some of my favorite movies on ABC Family instead of their usual teeny bopper fare.
The Goonies, The Addams Family, Edward Scissorhands, etc.
I've been tuning in quite a bit recently. I love these movies. Love them.

I've only got one more day, so I guess I had better enjoy them while they last. I'm sure ABC Family will be back to showing nonsense like A Walk to Remember in no time.

The Power of Positive Thinking

When did life get to be so hard? It's not that I thought this would be easy necessarily, but I didn't really realize the emotional toll it would take.

The days are pretty easy to get through. I have work, which takes up plenty of time and I have a number of friends there that keep me socialized and human.

The nights are harder. The house gets quiet with just me and the dogs.

On the one hand, it's nice that I only have to worry about myself. There's no one else to please (or not as the case may be). I can be completely and totally selfish and there are no consequences.

On the other, it's lonely and dark. There are no hugs. There is no soft place to fall.

For the last couple of weeks, I've had a pretty much daily cry over the sad state of affairs my life has become.

Today, I decided to stop.

People (myself DEFINITELY included) fall into a trap of thinking, "I'll be happy when..."

I'll be happy when I lose 5 lbs.

I'll be happy when I find somebody to love.

I'll be happy when I have enough money.

I'm tired of saying "I'll be happy when." I'm going to be happy now.

I didn't let myself get into a negative place today. I only listened to songs on my iPod which make me feel good (which recently means no love songs, no angry songs, a lot of medium tempo content neutral songs). I set expectations about how I would feel during each portion of my day.

And although I wouldn't call it a complete success, I have to say that I felt better today than I have in a while. No tears. While I wouldn't call myself "happy" per se at the moment, I feel at a minimum neutral, which, trust me, is an improvement.

Life is what it is and I have to take it as it comes. But, I'm not going to live for a mystical future date when life will be good enough to be happy with.

I want things, which may mean that I'm always doomed to some level of dissatisfaction, but if I can achieve a state where I'm fairly contented interspersed with moments of genuine happiness (which will hopefully be more numerous than the unavoidable moments of unhappiness) then I'll consider it a win.