Friday, May 23, 2008

Countdown to Hawaii

Tomorrow, I am leaving for Hawaii... Oahu, specifically... with my sisters.
Yay! I'm very excited about going!
Hopefully, we are going to have a lot of fun.

I am impressed that I have managed to get all my clothes packed into one little suitcase.
If you could see the amount of clothes I am packing, you would be impressed too.
Especially since I'm packing 7 pairs of shoes! :)

Hawaii here I come!
See you all when I get back!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Oh, Dale!

Dale, you bonehead!
What did you do?
I still have mad Dale-love for you, but nominating yourself as executive chef on that team was nothing less than suicidal!
Let's face it, Lisa stinks. Her bitch-face gets worse and worse every week.

(aside: On the other hand, however, her array of excuses for why her failures aren't her fault are becoming funnier and funnier every week. She made two horrible dishes because you (Dale) were a terrible leader? Ha! I think not, Lisa! You made terrible dishes because you're not really as great as you think you are.)

So, Dale, it would have been the much craftier option to allow Lisa to take the reins and if her bitch-face ruined everything, then she would have been more likely to go home than you.
Finally, Spike's "craftiness" and "scheming" paid off when he managed to distance himself from you two by taking front of the house.

Really, Spike lucked out on that one. His decor sucked (according to the judges, not being there I couldn't really tell over the telly) and more importantly, he didn't cook anything.
He mentioned that a couple of the recipes were his, but it didn't seem as though he was actually responsible for any of the food.

Any other year, he would have been called out for that.

Stephanie was also front of the house and she managed to put together a linguine and clams dish as well as a weird savory dessert, that I will be taking their word on as good.

So, no big surprise I think Spike kind of sucked.
Can I tell you a secret though?
Only if you promise to never bring it up again!
Spike kind of looked handsome in his suit without all his douchebaggy hats.
Okay, there you go, I admitted it.
I feel dirty.
Let's move on.

Antonia, although I am still not a fan, is one smart cookie. She kicked butt in the short order kitchen and as a result got to pick her own crew. Why wouldn't she pick Stephanie and Richard?
Stephanie is consistently at the top (a few misfires on her part, but she's recovered well).
Richard is consistently at the top (a few misfires on his part, but he's recovered well).
Both seem fairly laid back to work with.
Richard even got along with Dale for pity sake!
Dale's the only one from the other team that should have even been considered and I would have rejected him too as he has been difficult to work with in the past (sorry, Dale).

I'm disappointed Dale went home. He really went home over one bad decision rather than because he isn't a good enough chef to be Top Chef. Dale is much more talented than both Spike and Lisa and I would have rather seen him butt heads with Stephanie, Richard and Antonia in the finale than either of those two.

Also, did anyone else notice them all holding hands in the preview for next week?
Ha ha ha!
That's ridiculous.

I'll be bummed if Stephanie, Richard or Antonia does something stupid next week (a la Dale) and allows both Spike and Lisa into the final four. (Boo, just to the idea!)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


My TiVO has now fucked with me two nights in a row.
Yesterday it didn't record American Idol.
I made sure it was set to record American Idol today.
I made it through all 2 hours of the drivel filler that they add to the finale.
And the winner is...
The recording is done.
Are you kidding me?
You have 2 frigging hours and you can't announce the winner within the allotted time frame?
Damn you, American Idol!

But, on the positive side David Cook won.
Yay! He has been my favorite for quite a while.
He is the more deserving of the two and much more likely to be successful.
Archuleta is a talented kid, but he scares me a little bit.
His dad is kinda crazy. I don't want that kid to go all Britney on us, so maybe it's better for him that he get to grow up a little bit.
I will cop to Imagine melting my cold, cold heart into a little puddle.

However, over the whole season, David Cook has been better... no question.
Always be my baby
Billie Jean
Eleanor Rigby
All I really need is you



I can't believe I watched a whole frigging season of American Idol only to miss the final performances AND the announced winner!!

Stupid TiVO!

I started watching American Idol this year, because there was nothing else on really.
With going to the gym pretty much every night I don't really have the time to be invested in a lot of television, but Jeff and I have been watching American Idol all season.
Last night was the first part of the final two.
David versus David.
I was excited to see it when I came home from the gym.
What I found, was that my TiVO had recorded Reaper instead of American Idol.
Well fuck.
Stupid Reaper.
I don't give a shit what is happening on that show right now.
I guess it's my fault for not checking the to do list and make sure that American Idol was set to record, but it has been recording American Idol for the whole season with no problems.

It's just so... disappointing.
The whole season has been building to this point and I missed it.
Boo. :(

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

SO happy!!!!

I was feeling a little bit of pressure at work.
My department is a little low on manpower due to lots of babies... well two babies anyway (out of 3 employees though). We're a pretty small team.
So, I've been taking on a much heavier workload to make up for the absence. Normally, this is no big deal. It's a lot of work, but I have no doubts what so ever that I could get it done.
But, I'm going to Hawaii next week. The work is long, but the time is short. I was really worried about how I was going to get everything done. Not just get everything done, but get everything done well.
Thankfully, the powers that be have moved out my deadline from mid-June to mid-July to accommodate some other stuff they want to do.
This makes me so blissfully happy! I will have plenty of time to do a kick-ass job now.
I will be able to go to Hawaii and enjoy myself, guilt free.
Booyah! :)

Monday, May 19, 2008

I like songs about whores

Example #1) The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel
Asking only workman's wages I come lookin for a job, but I get no offers,
Just a come on from the whores on 7th avenue
I do declare there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there...

Although, my favorite part of this song comes later, but still a good whore reference.

Example #2) Basket Case by Green Day
I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of sex
That's bringing me down
I went to a whore
She says my life's a bore
So quit my whining
Cause it's bringing her down

I just happened to listen to both of these songs in recent days. I don't know that many songs about whores, but I like both of the ones I do know. Does two songs represent a pattern?

If you know of any other songs about whores, pass them along.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Shopping, Shopping and more Shopping

Sist-A and I went shopping today. I really wanted a chance to go before our trip to Hawaii.
It was a lot of fun. Sist-A is tons of fun to shop with. We like all the same stores and types of clothes. The only time this is a problem is when one of us races towards a new shirt, so we can claim it before the other one does.

This doesn't always work. Like when we shop separately.
We both showed up to shop today in blue jeans, a white cami and green American Eagle "favorite" t-shirts. Granted her cami had lace on it, and mine was a slightly darker shade of green, but still basically the same.
We walked around like twins until I "accidentally" spilled some soup on my shirt at lunch and changed into one of them I bought today.
I would love to pretend I did that on purpose, but I think we all know I'm just a klutz.

Still, it was lots of fun today and I got some cute clothes for Hawaii.

We met up with my step-mom to show at DSW after we were done shopping for clothes and closed down the store. We were checking out after the store "officially" closed. In our defense, they never said anything to us AND we did buy a lot of shoes.
Between us we bought 17 pairs of shoes.
4 for Sist-A.
5 for me.
8 for Fern.
Sounds crazy, right?
Sounds like a lot of shoes?
*Sigh* It was AWESOME!

I got a fantastic new pair of heels and I just love them!
If I weren't already engaged to the mashed potatoes in New Glarus, I would marry them.
I may be a bit capricious, but I'm not that bad!

All in all a pretty good day and now I'm better prepared for the big Hawaiian vacation coming up.
Are you all as psyched about that as I am?
I thought so. :)

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Bad Jokes

I watched A Prairie Home Companion tonight, which was incredibly long and boring. So, I'm going to save you the trouble of watching the movie. Here is my favorite part of this movie. Hilarious! My favorites are the 3 boobs and elephant ones. Enjoy!


Well that was different.
I wasn't drunk the first time I tried Lazy Mutt beer.
It was only the second beer I tried at the Oregon Microbrew festival.
Yet, I remember liking it quite a bit there.
Tonight? It was different... in a disappointing way.
It was okay, but not as good as I remembered.
Oh well. You can't win them all.

That WASN'T a twist off

That bottle of Lazy Mutt I just opened was not a twist off.
My hands hurt a little now.
Also, our bottle openers suck!

I Want a Sandwich

I was listening to a song on the radio on the way home from the grocery story.
The chorus of the song went like this...
"My heart's damaged, damaged, damaged..."

I swear to you the first time I heard it I thought the line after that was:
I want a sandwich, sandwich, sandwich.

It isn't.
It just repeats the first line again.

Hmm... a sandwich.
I do want a sandwich.
I think I'll go have one right now...

Update: Damn! That was a good sandwich!!!!

Friday, May 16, 2008

So! Hungry!

I don't know what has been up with my body lately, but I have just been ravenous the last couple of days!
I want to eat, eat, eat.
And, it's not a psychological thing. My mind isn't saying, oh I really want to eat, even though I don't need to.
My stomach is the culprit! I ate about an hour ago and I'm already friggin' hungry again!
It's been growling for the last 15 minutes.
Shut up, stupid stomach. You're not getting anything else for at least 45 minutes, so you'll have to suck it up!
I have a late meeting today. I may not make it home... argh!

You know what the really bad side of all this is.. besides being hungry ALL THE TIME?
When I get hungry. Not just hungry, but ravenous hungry. I turn into a cranky BITCH. Yeah, that's right. An all-caps bitch.
I'm still sane for the moment, but as we get closer and closer to one o'clock anybody bringing an annoying problem to me may be in danger of their very life.
Let's all hope it doesn't come to that.
If I killed somebody, I probably wouldn't be able to go to Hawaii in a couple of weeks, and that would just be annoying.

Thursday, May 15, 2008


Sometimes when I go to the gym I feel strong. I can feel the strength in my legs, heart and lungs. I work hard and sometimes push myself harder.

Then, there are those other nights. Nights where I feel weak. My knees and hips hurt. My lungs constrict and my heart pounds. Tonight was one of those nights. I was on the verge of puking the whole time I was on the treadmill. With 3 minutes to go, I had to work very hard to keep the contents of my stomach in place. I felt like a bull... or a cow I guess, since I'm a girl... in a china shop while running. I barely kept going. The only good thing I can say about tonight is that I didn't give in and slow down. I stayed running at my usual pace.

Even if the body is weak, the mind can be strong.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Bitch Face

What is it with chefs on cooking shows owning the worst bitch faces I have ever seen?
If we had an all star bitch face-off, I'm not sure who would win.

And in the right corner, we have Matt from Hell's Kitchen.
Bitch face in the morning.
Bitch face when he's whining.
Bitch face EVEN when he's happy.

And in left corner, we have Lisa from Top Chef.
Bitch face when she's angry.
Bitch face when she's happy.
Bitch face... oh wait. I don't think that's bitch face. I think that might just be her real face.

Let's wait a moment while the judges confer...

And we have an official announcement.
Well, this is sad. Lisa has been disqualified from this Bitch Face-off because in fact, her always face is a bitch face. Unfortunate... for her, and those of us who have to watch her... but sadly it means she may not, under the rules of the Confederation of the Bitch Face Society of America compete in this contest.

And so the win, for biggest reality cooking tv show bitch face goes to the only man left standing Matt.

On to Top Chef for this evening...

Review of last week... Spike calls Dale a bitch.
How annoying! Shut up, Spike!
What does Spike know about... oh, wait, I forgot about his "bromance" with Mark. Maybe he does know about bitches.
I withdraw my complaint.

Oh, yay! It's Sam.
I was unaccountably excited to see him guest-judge on the show, seeing as he wasn't really my favorite on Season 2. I'm not saying I didn't like him, but meh.

And they are going to make SALAD... woot?

Man, for all that Stephanie is able to whoop up in the Elimination Challenges (sometimes) she just cannot win the QuickFire challenges.

So, Sammy chose Spike to win, huh? Boo.
The salad looked good, but it was Spike, so boo.

Spike's "bonus" is that he gets 10 extra minutes at Whole Foods and whatever his main ingredients are, the others can't use them. So, being that Spike is a douchebag, he chooses ingredients that will screw the others over (rather than choosing ingredients that might make a good dish). But if he had chosen based on taste this show might be about cooking, rather than strategy and that just doesn't gel in Spike's itty-bitty brain.

And then, there's the cooking.

Spike is mocking Richard. Boo Spike. Yay Richard.
Don't hold everyone else to your standards Spike. We can't all be douchebags in hats.

It comes down to Stephanie and Dale in the top spots.
Yay for Stephanie being back on top.
I'm not sorry Dales there, but I have to say Dale's attitude the last few weeks has been wearing on me a little. Lighten up, dude. Smile, just once.
I mean you get to call bitch-face Lisa in to the losers room, can't you just be happy with that?

Ah, the losers.
Spike... have I mentioned boo already? I was kind of hoping his royal-tooliness would be sent home already. He argues with Tommy-boy about the combination of olives and grapes and actually says, "well, that's your opinion" It's all opinion dumbass. It's cooking. It's all subjective. That's why velveeta and lutefisk and other weird foodstuffs even exist, someone, somewhere thinks they taste good.

Lisa, ah bitch face... I can't even hear what she's saying her bitch face is so loud. I think she just threw Andrew under the bus though, he's giving her the laser eyes.

Andrew... sorry you had to go. I liked your intensity, in spite of the fact that you used the words culinary boner, together, in the same sentence. Yuck. I was hoping one of the other two would go away instead. Oh well.

Awww... now I feel bad

So, Syesha's dad is a drug addict? And Syesha being on American Idol is helping keeping him clean?
Well, fuck.
And I couldn't be bothered to think she was anything but boring?
Most of the season I couldn't be bothered to remember that she existed at all.
I feel bad.
Wait! What do I feel bad about again?
Syesha who?

Yay for the Davids! I heart them... but mostly I heart David Cook.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Final Three

American Idol

David A.
First Song: Good, but good Lord it bored me to tears.
Second Song: I actually liked him with this song. It was pretty obvious that he was actually having fun singing it, instead of just being chained down by all this older music that really isn't his thing (personally, I don't mean musically).
Third Song: Is it really any surprise that the producers chose some sappy, ballady drivel for him to sing? This is why I appreciated what he did in round 2. Something different. He's a good singer, but we don't need to hear another ballad every week.

First Song: Well sung, but how was that different from the Alicia Keys version? It wasn't. So way to be a copycat Syesha. Laaaaame.
Second Song: Does she even want to make it to the finals? Why the hell would she sing that song in the Final Three on American Idol? Simon was spot on, it was hideous cabaret.
Third Song: Hmm... that was horrible. The question is, is that good news or bad news. People might sympathy vote her now, because it was so awful. She SO does not deserve to be in the final.

David C.
First Song: Pretty good stuff. I liked how it built at the end.
Second Song: Randy was right. It was a little pitchy. But, fuck that, it was also AWESOME! I really enjoyed the way it built to the end. I was pretty down with that song.
Third Song: They chose Aerosmith for him, huh? It definitely suits the tone of his voice. It's unfortunate that they didn't pick a song he could re-invent, since this song is sort of already in his style, but still he rocked it out. LOVE HIM!

Overall, tonight was pretty much what I expected. David C was my fave. David A was good. Syesha is lucky to have made it this far.
Hopefully, we'll see both David's into the finals.

Hell's Kitchen
Man, even when that guy is happy, Matt has the worst kind of bitch face.
I can't believe Roseanne has lasted this long. She doesn't cook very well, if she sends out raw seafood more than once.
Jen pouted her way through service. Ramsay got fed up with her wah-wah and told her to shut it, so she sulked the rest of the night. Dude, you've got to get over it. He yells at everyone. Just get the job done.
Man, Ramsay is not a fan of Ben. But, I kind of agree with him, Ben is lame. He just loves to bitch and moan, but I haven't seen that he's anywhere a decent enough cook to talk the way he does.
So, I guess that's why he went bye-bye.
Here's what I don't understand, how is it strategic for Ben to offer to nominate himself. Let's face it pal, Ramsay called you out more than anybody else tonight. Plus, he's never really been a fan of you anyway. If you go up there at all you have to know there is a good chance you are going home. So, see ya!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Picture Phone

Dad took some pictures with his phone at the Microbrew Festival in Oregon. I love, love this picture of Ash, so I just had to add it here.

If I remember correctly, she was telling us about some comedian doing this pose, but I think that was just a ruse. I think she just likes posing this way for pictures.

And this is just a sweet pic of the two of us. Yay me and Ash! We. are. AWESOME.

And here's our favorite mother/daughter pair (after me and my mom, of course... :))

My Streak

My streak at the gym is over.
It ended yesterday, as I was busy with Mother's day stuff.
I was at 17 visits in a row before it ended.

It's no big deal to miss a day, but still, I felt I had to mark the occasion.

Never fear, I am back on the horse again tonight.
Current streak: 1

Black Hole

I think there is a rip in time and space in my car.
It's next to the console on the front passenger side, in case you were wondering.

I have lost two things in my car (a guide book to Hawaii and my key card for work) and have specifically looked in this location and could not find said item only to look a few days or hours later only to find said item.

The problem couldn't possibly be me.
I would see them if they were there.
How likely is that I would miss items that are in that location... TWICE!

No, the only logical solution left is that there is a black hole in my car.
A very small, very annoying black hole.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

To celebrate Mother's Day we went out with Mom and the mongoose to the Admiralty room at the Edgewater Hotel. It wasn't a bad buffet. I had a rather delicious chocolate-chocolate chip muffin.

The best part of our meal was our waiter. He totally had a man-crush on the mongoose.
The mongoose's plates were cleared away as soon as he was done with them.
The rest of us just had to sit there with all our plates piled up.
He was a-lookin' for a love connection, but unfortunately for him the mongoose was having none of that.

Then, we went to the movies. Mom wanted to see Iron Man. It was actually really good. Even though there were a few too many previews, I really enjoyed them, because they made me excited to go to the movies again and reminded me how much I love going to the movies.

There are some movies coming out soon that I'm really looking forward to seeing, including but not limited to:
The Dark Knight
Indiana Jones
Sex and the City
Get Smart

Although, the new Incredible Hulk looks like an incredible stinker.

They also had the best commercial for Lipton Green Tea that involved a slide. Man, I wish that was an option at the mall. If I had to choose between taking the stairs, the escalator or a slide, you can be damn sure I'd go for the slide.

This is Awesome!!

Blind bowler rolls perfect game in Iowa

A perfect game in bowling is rare enough. Turning the trick without even seeing the pins? That's a new one.
Dale Davis, a 78-year-old man who lost his vision years ago to macular degeneration, bowled a perfect 300-game Saturday in the Iowa town of Alta, according to a local report.
"It was quite a thrill," Davis told the Storm Lake Times in Storm Lake, Iowa. "When I got to the tenth frame, I said 'Lord, let me throw three more good balls.' When I did, people on other teams were yelling and cheering. A few guys were hugging me and almost broke my skinny bones."
The report said Davis, a Navy veteran, got his start in bowling as a pin-setter during his teenage years, making 45 cents a night at a local alley. He went on to succeed in leagues and tournaments, including winning a $2,500 top prize in a California event shortly after his days in the service.
Davis was living in California in 1996 when he lost sight in his left eye, the report said, and the right eye followed a year later. He then decided to move back to Iowa, where he was raised, where his sister still lives.
With the help of his sister, Davis soon regained his bowling form and achieved an average of 188, according to the report.
"I can't see the lane or the pins and have a heck of a time finding my ball sometimes," Davis, who still has a small spot of peripheral vision remaining, told the paper. "I can kinda see the dots on the floor to know where I start. After that, I rely on my hearing and other people to tell me what's going on."
Nicknamed "The Hammer" for the surprising force of his shots, Davis relies more on his hearing than his vision to assess the quality of each roll.
"The sounds of the alley let me know how I'm doing," Davis told the paper. "There's a loud crack when I get a strike. When I hear that crack, usually it's followed by someone telling me I can sit down.
"Saturday night, all I heard was 12 cracks in a row."

Saturday, May 10, 2008


Today was a little hazy.
I went to some Microbrew festival in Oregon.
Dad invited me and I invited Ash.
It was (to my surprise) actually fun.
We tried a few different beers from small breweries around Wisconsin.
My favorites were the Blucreek Blueberry Amber Ale from Blucreek Brewing ( and Lazy Mutt Farmhouse Ale from Minhas Craft Brewery ( which is a brewery in Monroe.

I had more to drink tonight than I've had in a long time. Probably since I was in Vegas.
No matter what my step-mother says, I was not that drunk tonight.
Tipsy, yes.
Tired, yes.
Wasted, no.

I'm at the nice medium place, where you feel no pain and are in that sort of floaty goodness.

It was nice seeing everyone again Ash, Michelle, Dad... especially Adam. I haven't seen him in half of forever. And I actually miss the little bugger.

Who knew such a thing could happen?
You adopt these kids as your siblings in the beginning to be nice. Because you dad is determined to marry their mother. Then all of the sudden you become attached. You agree to take in their crack babies or help them cover up crimes or actually miss them when you don't see them for long periods of time. Weird. What a tangled web it all becomes.

Okay, I'm off to get some sleep so I can be the dutiful daughter tomorrow morning at my mother's Mother's Day brunch.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Dammit Eric!

Where is my self-proclaimed sherpa when I need one?

I'm pretty sure I ate pesticides to be polite today and I blame you!
This chick in my class offered me some grapes... and I had to make a decision.
To be polite I said sure, I like grapes.
I took a handful.
Then, of course, she tells me that they are unwashed.
What the hell am I supposed to do at that point?
Put them back?
Wash them with my tears?
She's sitting right next to me, so she would have noticed if they went uneaten.

Dammit Eric! If I have six-headed babies now, you're going to be the one to blame!

I'm willing to give you a second chance, as you didn't know about the situation. I sort of just assumed when I named you "sherpa" you would attain a mystical like quality and "know" when I need to make a decision. I guess not. How disappointing... for both of us.

A list of decisions to make for tomorrow, submitted for your approval:
Netflix movie to watch:
Finding Neverland vs. Prarie Home Companion
Gym activity:
Treadmill vs. Elliptical
Should I re-pot my house plant tomorrow?
Should I buy some of that re-sodding grass seed for the backyard tomorrow?
Should the husband and I attempt to clean the house tomorrow or save it for next weekend?

I think that's realistically most of the actual decisions I will be making tomorrow. When you list them all out like that, it's kind of a sad little list.


Life is hard, and it never turns out quite the way you imagined.
The road seems so clear when you are a child.
You get older and follow a pre-specified path, first grade, second grade, etc.
There is right (get good grades, share your toys) and wrong (fighting with your sister, lying).

Somewhere along the way the trail tapers off.
You realize that you're not following a path anymore. You find that you are standing alone in the forest wondering where the hell the path went.
The line between right and wrong gets fuzzier. The gray areas grow larger. You start to miss the old black and white days.
You either stay at your current job or leave for another one.
You either stay with your spouse or strike out on your own.
You live in one community or another.
You drive one car versus another.

The decisions are no longer right or wrong, they are just different.
So, how do you decide?

In one way, it's sort of comforting.
No matter how badly you fuck up, you've never left the path, because it was always your own anyway.
In every other way, it's just confusing.
If you are the only one setting your path, how the hell do you know where to go?

Most of the time, I don't really think about it. I just do what I do and let the path determine itself. Although I'm not entirely sure that this is the best way to live, it is easier to be happy this way... I think.

Other times, I feel like I am drowning.

No matter what decision I make at any given point, there is always that one eternal question that looms above everything I say and do, "Where do we go from here?"

Could anybody lend me a map?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Lingering Thoughts

I was glad to see Jason Castro go last night on American Idol, even though a part of me wishes it had been Syesha. If it had been Syesha, although that would have been slightly unfair to her since she sang far better than Castro, it would have pretty much assured the two Davids into the final. Plus, I think her comparing her "hardships" on American Idol to the struggles of the civil rights movement is just so... arrogant? Is that the right word? Hubristic, maybe... which according to is actually a word.

On to Top Chef, after last week I was feeling more friendly towards Spike, but I have since swung back to my original position of "Shut up Spike." I had read on-line that Spike took time out of cooking last week to really take care of the kid he was working with when the kid cut their finger open. That was sweet. However, this week he's back to being the same old douche bag, so that was the end of that.

I still don't like Antonia. So, with all of your "experience" you "know" crispy chicken is a bad idea and you still let him do it? Basically, you are just setting him up to throw him under the bus if your team loses. Classy move there, chica. You seem like a talented enough chef, so if you could stop acting like such an asshole, I might be able to like you. But, then again, based on your behavior so far, probably not.

It was past time for Nikki to go. IMHO, the only reason she has lasted this long is because she has sucked, ever so slightly, less than everyone who was kicked off before her. You have a challenge where Italian (which is your specialty) is the main event and you don't take the lead? Spike and Lisa were ready to fall in line behind you and you just left everyone out to dry. You suck. I should have known when she was going on about their similar palettes that she was going down. Remember her specialty of mac-n-cheese anybody?

I can't hate Dale. Even though he is an arrogant, whiny baby who slams things around, I can't hate him. I sort of love the spectacle that is Dale.

That reminds me though, I miss Hung. Dale is no Hung, certified public asshole or not. I missed Hung during the relay race. I am coming to appreciate more and more the awesomeness that was Hung breaking down those chickens.

Yay Richard and Stephanie! I like Richard more and more as the weeks wear on. He's so adorably a food geek. But, (unlike Antonia) he shows a classy streak by giving the win to Stephanie because he admired her for putting it on the line and making a cake. The dude gives credit where credit is due, whether it is Stephanie or Dale.

Wait a minute! Richard is married? Huh? I wouldn't have guessed that he is married. Okay, I can roll with that I guess.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Crappy Wedding

Came across this article on MSN:

It's an article about awkward moments at a wedding.

I am astounded by this one:
Dirty Dancing
"I was a bridesmaid in a July wedding. After four hours of dancing and having a great time, I needed to sit down and rest. While leaving the dance floor, I mentioned to another bridesmaid that I thought I had gum stuck to my foot (we were dancing barefoot), and on my way to the bathroom, I said, 'Something smells terrible.' I then discovered that what I smelled was actually poop! It was all over my feet, ankles, and on the inside of the bottom of my dress. I broke into hysterics, removed the soiled dress, changed into whatever clothes the girls had available in the bridal suite, and waited until the reception was over."

Umm... perhaps you should have shared more of the story with us. Did you crap your pants and not notice? Did someone else poop on the dance floor and no one stepped in it but you? How? What? Huh?

That is hands down the weirdest/grossest story I have heard in a while.

Hmmm.... I better wear comfortable shoes to Snoop and DaisyDuke's wedding. I don't want to be the victim of a dance floor pooping.

Top Four

American Idol

David Cook
1st performance - liked it, didn't love it
2nd performance - loved it... he's so my favorite. Yay DC.

1st performance - very screamy. totally agreed with Simon
2nd performance - boring and yucky
She annoys me. Not. a. fan.
She'll probably get through to the next round because she cried. Stupid tears.

Jason Castro
1st performance - I'm not familiar with Bob Marley, so I wasn't offended by it like Simon and Randy.
2nd performance - didn't hate it, didn't love it. He totally forgot the words though... ha!

David A.
1st performance - I love Stand by me. I thought it was a good performance, but I didn't love the way he switched up the song.
2nd performance - He totally rocked this performance. Okay, whatever Archuleta love has been drained away over the last few weeks has been restored. Loved it!!!!!!!

Bottom two: Syesha and Jason Castro -- I will be surprised if it is one of the Davids. I will be surprised if one of the Davids doesn't win AI.

Hell's Kitchen

So, apparently Corey is a bitch and a slut. Even if she successfully "targets" Louross, what does she expect to get out of him? It's a cooking show. There are no secret plans or plots. There are no alliances, really. There is no information to get out of the boys. AND she made remark about Shayna's weight. Fuck off Corey.

Matt has the worst kind of bitch face.
Kudos to Bobby for stepping up to the plate to avert disaster. Wow. That maybe the first time the "four-star general" has actually lived up to his name and acted the leader.

Bye Shayna. I couldn't pick you out of a line-up as actually being on this show. Hope you enjoy life at home with your baby.

Facebook Quiz

There is an application on Facebook where you can take quizzes to see if you are like your friends. I took one of those quizzes today. It's called the "I hate when people..." quiz.

Here are the options for the quiz.

Rate from MOST to LEAST hated:
Tickle me
Ignore me
Lie to me
Talk behind my back
Sweet talk me
Patronize me
Criticize me
Hit me
Disappoint me
Yell at me

So, I'm reading the list, deciding how I'm going to rank.
And here's a sort of recap.
Tickle me, eh... it's not great
Ignore me... well depends on who it is, doesn't it?
Lie to me, depends on what their "truth" is.
Talk behind my back... not fun.
Sweet talk me... um, what? Yeah, I totally hate it when people say nice stuff to me. Whatever, quiz.
Patronize me... ooh I hate that.
Criticize me... eek, hate that too.
Hit me...

STOP! Hit me? Okay, kids, let's put all those S&M people who get their rocks off by being in pain over in a corner. Otherwise, on this list, how can anything other than HIT ME be #1?
Yes, being patronized sucks. Does it suck worse than someone hauling off and decking me?
Probably not.
No, wait.
Definitely not.
I'm not trying to minimize emotional pain, but I'd infinitely prefer to be patronized/criticized or anything else on this list versus being HIT.

What a fucked up list! So, maybe you can already tell, but for me Hit me was number 1 and sweet talk me was number 10 and all the rest fell in some order in between.

Shit!/Yay Target

Have you ever had one of those moments where you realize that you almost fucked something up but you managed to save yourself?

I got to work today and realized that some customer meetings that I had inadvertently placed on my calendar for tomorrow, were actually taking place today.

Point #1 in my favor. I realized my mistake.

My work is awesome in that it has a casual dress policy. However, that led me to an additional problem. Since I thought the meetings were tomorrow, I wore jeans to work today. We're supposed to wear business casual to meetings.

Point #1 against me. Wearing jeans to work.

It was 9:30 AM when I realized my mistake. The first meeting was at 11:00 AM. So, since I live 45 minutes away from work, going home to change wasn't an option. However, there is a Super-Target right down the road from my office, so I scooted on down there to see if I could find anything to wear to the meeting.

Luckily I found some pants I like, although they are about 3 inches too long, which precipitated my purchase of safety pins to make them a more appropriate length. Target just doesn't sell petite pants. I considered, for a brief moment, buying a pair of capris which are shorter on regular women and look like my pants just shrunk up a bit on me. But they usually end up being an inch to 1/2 inch too short, so I said nuts to that.

Point #2 for me. I found some pants! Yay!

I had a harder time finding an appropriate shirt. I wore a button up shirt and I'm told we are supposed to tuck those in. I am fundamentally opposed to tucking shirts in... mostly because I look stupid when my shirt is tucked in. So, finally I found a cranberry colored short-sleeved sweater and I ended up getting it. I'm not that thrilled with the sweater I have to tell you. I'm not that thrilled with short-sleeved sweaters in general. (Why? See reason for being fundamentally opposed to the "shirt tuck") It's just okay, but I didn't want to spend all day at Target and I needed to get back to work and changed and over to the customer meeting.

Point #2 against me. A stupid sweater.

I managed to get changed and over to my meeting on time, so no one was the wiser to all the drama that took place beforehand. All in all, with two points for and against me, I'd call the whole thing a wash. And Yay for Target for coming through in a pinch. And a special Yay for Jorge who showed me where the safety pins were, I couldn't have done it without you, man.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Cinco de Mayo

I felt like it couldn't go unmentioned that today is cinco de mayo.
Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!
I'd say feliz or something, you know, more Spanish-y, but then I might have Heather or Ashley correcting my Spanish grammar. So, nuts to that.

Also, I'm happy to report that I'm finally back in the black on sick days at work. Turns out getting in a car accident and shortly thereafter getting the flu just drains them all away. But, you know what sucks more than being in the red on sick days? Having the flu AND a broken shoulder. Boo. Dark times, kids, dark times.

Now, I'm happily healed up. I can even sleep on my left shoulder again! And I'm back in the black on sick days! Good times! Yay!

Are you kidding?

I went to the dentist today and for the most part it was a good experience. They got me (painlessly) cleaned up and out of there in less than a 1/2 hour. Yay dentistry professionals!

The worst part of the dentist for me is getting my teeth x-rayed. They wanted x-rays this time to make sure my front teeth didn't die in the car accident... *gigantic sigh of relief-- my teeth are alive and kicking*
My mouth is kind of small, so those plastic things they put in your mouth to x-ray your teeth are gigantic. They kind of shove/place in the x-ray sheets which are taller than my mouth opens wide and then tell me to "bite down"
Huh? Are you kidding? I can barely get my mouth closed and you want me to bite down?
Okay. I'll pretend to bite down and you just go take the damn x-ray already.

I don't really hate the dentist or anything, but I'm glad that I have 6 months of not having my teeth x-rayed to look forward to.

Temptation Looms

The first Monday of every month they bring in bagels, doughnuts and muffins for all the employees to enjoy. I call them "New Hire Mondays" because it's (not-so-coincidentally) the day when all our new employees start for that month.

So, when I walk in our break room, you can just smell all that beautiful fat and sugar sitting there. It's the doughnuts that get me. Chocolate icing, glazed, sprinkles... they look so tempting sitting there all in a row. You just know if you bit into one that it would be so soft and sweet.

But, there are no new hire doughnuts for me now or in the foreseeable future. *Sigh*
Oh well, I guess I can just be happy with the sight and smell of them. They probably taste better in my imagination than they would in real life anyway.

Science has proved it!

Science has finally "proved" what we (those of us that are the oldest) already knew... it IS harder being the oldest sibling.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

HA! I Knew It!

I was watching a preview for Speed Racer a few minutes ago and I saw a flash of an actor at the beginning. I thought, hmmm, that looks like Ben Miles (a.k.a. Patrick from Coupling) and, don't you know it I was right. HA! I can't believe I recognized him from that flash. It kind of makes me want to see this movie now. :)


I've had a few. But after watching Strictly Ballroom, I would have to say that my great regret (perhaps, goal?) is that I have never been involved in a sport/extra-curricular activity that would allow me to be covered head-to-toe in glitter, rhinestones and sequins, and if I feel like a little "flair" ruffles and feathers.

Can't you see it now? My hair shellacked in place. Fluorescent rhinestoned/sequined/glittered/ruffled/feathered outfit. Rhinestoned makeup in neon colors. It would be awesome!

Fatty & Co.

We went to go visit Fatty and N this weekend. It was nice to see them and the kids. Especially since Fatty has now decided he wants to do a triathlon, and thus has stopped lifting so much, so he looks normal now instead of like he was on steroids.
I thought it might have been an awkward visit. Jeff and Fats talked on Friday, and all I really feel comfortable saying in a blog is that they've had a difficult week. I would have totally understood if they hadn't wanted us to come. I think they felt like it would be better to have a distraction than to be left to think about the week. N said that they didn't want to miss out on an opportunity to get together since we're both so busy and it's hard to find time. Plus, Jeff is Ayden's godfather and they want them to get the chance to know one another. I think that's kind of sweet.
Anyway, it was good to get to see them, even if it was under crummy circumstances. Not that you ever want a situation like this to come up, but it makes you look at your friends in a different way when it does. I have a new found respect for the kind of people Fats and Nicole are and the way they live their life. I hate sappiness and all that kind of stuff, so I'm just going to leave it at that.

11 Days and Counting...

Today is the 11th day in a row that I've made it to the gym. I'm not sure how long this can go on, but I'm just going to keep going until something else comes up. I figure with Hawaii coming up at the end of the month, getting in a few extra nights at the gym can only help.

Plus, I actually enjoy going to the gym. It is time that I have totally to myself, doing something solely for myself. Not because of work, friends, dogs or family... just me. Only I can determine what I do at the gym and how hard I work at it. I can slack off, if I choose, or more often I can push myself just to see what I'm capable of accomplishing.

I've been upping the number of times I go per week over the last month and I can tell the difference at the gym. My legs are less tired, my lungs are stronger and my heart is less stressed. Yay!