Oops

I accidentally shot someone today.
Oops.

FancyTalker is a little obsessed with Nerf dart guns. He has about 1,000 in his office.
I was playing with one of them, which I couldn't get to work.
I know, it seems like they should be easy to figure out, but this one was complicated I swear.
There was a pump, a button, but no trigger.
I sort of gave up getting it to shoot and I was kind of just playing with it, when it went off and shot upwards out of his cube.
Fuck.
It sailed into someone else's office.
I had no idea where it went.
Luckily, the guy I shot thought it was kind of funny and returned the Nerf dart with no problems.
Hmm... this is why I never load the ninja launcher when I play with that in GameBoy's office.
I'll have to be more careful in the future when I play with the Nerf guns.
If this was supposed to teach me not to play with Nerf guns, Mission Unaccomplished.
I will still play with them.
I'm just going to have to be more careful about which co-workers I shoot.

Wedding Tasks

DaisyDukes has tasked us with several things to get done today... hopefully I'll remember to get them all done!

1) Pluck, mist and bag all the rose petals
2) Scatter the rose petals down the aisle
3) Pin boutonnieres for the men
4) Scatter rose petals at the reception for the picture table, head table and cocktail tables (if there are any left on the dance floor tables)
5) Set out the bathroom baskets
6) Make sure all the (8,000!) candles at the reception get lit
7) Unwrap the guest book photo.

I think that's all.
Well, maybe optionally...
8) Show up and enjoy ceremony and reception!

Let's get this show on the road.
They ARE bringing sexy back!

Wedding of the Century

Tomorrow is the wedding of some good friends of mine.
The whole shebang starts tonight with the Rehearsal dinner.
(And for those of you wondering, according to Blogger's spell check, I spelled shebang correctly. Ha!)
The husband and mr. blume are at the actual rehearsal as I type this.
It's like standing on the edge of an infinite abyss.
I know it's there, but I can't really comprehend at the moment how big it is.
Snoop and DaisyDukes are two of the most organized, most... specific? (not sure what the right word is to say, they know what they want and how they want it) people I know.
This is not a bad thing.
It will be interesting to see what they have put together for their special day. I'm sure it will be (1) gorgeous, (2) organized, and (3) perfect. Knowing the two of them, they wouldn't have it any other way.
So, to the happy couple, congratulations.
To everyone else, the time for the wedding of the century is upon us.
Hopefully, I'll survive to see you on the other side.

Best Buy

Is often complete crap.
They are rarely the "best buy", they are usually overpriced and have super-obnoxious policies.
Yet, today, they were very helpful.
I needed a new charger for the battery that goes in my camera. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to find anything, especially in Stevens Point, it's not exactly the biggest store.
But, not only were they able to find me a charger that would work, but it only cost me $20 (instead of the normal $40).
Plus, I was able to find the new Kooks cd there (granted I haven't been looking that hard for it, but I definitely wanted it).
So, (today only) way to go Best Buy.
You were helpful.
Congratulations.

Old Friends Made New Again

Lately, I've reconnected with a bunch of friends that I've lost contact with over the last decade or so. A lot of them from high school, via Facebook, since our 10 year reunion is coming up in August.
(Which by itself seems crazy to me, I can't believe I've been out of high school 10 years!)
And then also, a friend of mind from college just e-mailed me out of the blue.
It's strange to hear from them again. We're all different, yet kind of the same, too.
That doesn't make sense at all, but it's still kind of true.
And yet, it's awesome at the same time too because a lot of them are really good, fun people.

I Have Fans!

On Netflix, there is a Friends and Faves page.
At the bottom of said page there is a section that says "Your Fans"
I have six.

Six fans.
That's crazy dude.
Not sure what that means, but still, I've never had fans before.

I hope this doesn't mean that I'm going to turn in to a total diva. (Or maybe I do)
I'll have to wear big sunglasses everywhere and enter restaurants through the back to avoid the paparazzi.

Ha ha. Fans. Good stuff!

People suck

Especially narcissistic people.
Especially narcissistic people who constantly make you responsible for their feelings.
Because taking responsibility for your own life, your own choices and your own feelings is too hard, so it's much better to lay blame on someone else.

I am NOT responsible for how you feel or any guilt you may possess.
Therefore, I don't wish to hear "your feelings" on the subject.

(Side rant: I am so sick of the notion that everyone has to feel happy and okay all the time. Sometimes people are unhappy. It happens. That's life. Suck it up and deal with it.)

Grow up! and take responsibility for yourself.
Quit whining about how you've changed.
Try and actually change for once. That'll be new.

PEOPLE SUCK!

A/V Goddess

For Christmas when I was 18 I asked my dad for a home theater receiver.
He got me a nice Sony receiver and it has traveled with me where ever I have lived since then.
Alas, as it neared it's 10 year birthday, it finally gave out.
The husband and I were forced to replace her.
Today, I hooked up our new receiver (also Sony) to all of our equipment, and let me tell you that is no small feat as we have a cable box, a TiVO, a tv, a cd player, iPod and DVD.
It's a complicated system and usually it takes me a few times plugging and unplugging cords to get it all right. In the end, I have to hook things up in some stupid insane way to get things to work. Like the cd player has to be hooked up through the TiVO to work correctly.
This time (just this time, I don't hold out hope that this would work again in the future) everything was hooked up correctly the first time. Everything works.
That never happens.
It was awesome.
I am an a/v goddess.
At least for today.
Today is a good day.

ETA: Clearly, I spoke too soon.

Won't Someone Think of the Whores?

My fellow Americans,
Now is the time for action. It is one thing for us to allow the impoverished and the middle class to fall on hard times, to not be able to afford gas for their cars or groceries for their table.
It is another thing entirely to allow things to get so bad, that these same hard working Americans cannot afford a whore for their beds (or whatever surface they choose to do a prostitute on).
Isn't that what has been written into our beloved Constitution? Life, liberty and the pursuit of cheap, tawdry sex?
Those are the founding principals of our country that I believe in.
Are our young men and women sacrificing their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan only to have them come home to find that all the bordellos have closed? Instead of being able to participate in the simple joy of paying for sex, they will simply have to frequent the local bars in search of an "easy lay."
It's a sad day for our nation indeed.

I think it's time we unite to make a difference in the world. I'm officially starting a new organization that I'm going to lovingly call W.H.O.R.E. (Worldwide Hookers Organization for Recession Enhancement). We can no longer ignore the call in front of us. We must raise money to put these women back out on the streets, permanently, where they belong.
You too, can make a difference.

For more information, you can read this article from Newsweek that has more information about the plight of the sex worker in this economy:
http://www.newsweek.com/id/141848?GT1=43002

Things have gotten so bad they are now forced to offer "specials."
To quote from Newsweek, "Last week he began offering a recession special: The first 100 customers who show up with their tax rebate checks receive twice the 'services' for the price of one. 'We always give our customers the most bang for the buck,' he says. 'You bring your $600 check in, and we give you the $1,200 George Bush party--three girls and a bottle of champagne.'

This travesty cannot continue.
Act now.

Celebrities are Funny

Here's what Pam Andersen had to say recently about what she thought L.A. would be like:

“I thought when I came to L.A., people would have parrots on their shoulders,” Pam confessed. “I still don't understand where that concept came from. And I thought for sure photographers would have pointy shoulders and big hats. Yes, pointy shoulder pads and parrots. And hats.”

So... she thought everyone in L.A. would be a pirate?
Not that that wouldn't be awesome, but what the hell?

Hassel Castle

David Hasselhoff did an interview with AOL.
He answered 10 questions. My favorite is #9.

9. Aside from 'America's Got Talent' where can your fans find you?
I'm really concentrating more on my music than television right now. I'm looking to buy a castle -- I'll call it the Hassel Castle -- where I can do concerts. I've also revamped my website, hasselhoff.com. If you log on, you can even join HoffSpace.

He's going to call it Hassel Castle. That is AWESOME!
You can join HoffSpace... Ha!
It's like the answer starts off a little boring, music versus television... bah, who cares?... but then, it just gets better and better. A castle he named after himself. A website. HoffSpace.... that's right a David Hasselhoff themed social network. Boo-yah!

Oh, Hoff, you *do* make the world just a little brighter with your existence, don't you? LoL

Questionable Taste

I think my subconscious has questionable taste in music.
I have had the song "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis stuck in my head for the last few days.
Over and over and over.
And
Over.
A rational person might think that makes sense since they are probably playing that song ad nauseum on the radio now.
However! I don't listen to the radio, I pretty much exclusively listen to my iPod in the car.
I have no idea how the hell that song got there.
But, I officially surrender.
You win brain, so maybe we could listen to something else for a while?
Maybe?
Please!?!
I bought the song on iTunes, so my subconscious can listen to it whenever it wants.
After hearing it about 8 billion times, I have to say it has grown on me.
Which is good, since apparently it's my new favorite song.

I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein I keep on closing,
But you cut me open, I keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding...

What?
Shut up.
Don't judge me.

Memo to Advertisers:

It is gross when you call Father's Day "Dad's Day" instead.
It does not make you more hip and cool.
It does make you yucky.
That is all.

Carrots are not Tomatoes

Tomatoes are on the outs right now because of the whole salmonella scare, so today in my Med salad at Noodles & Co., they replaced my tomatoes with carrots.
Yuck!
Normally, I quite enjoy carrots. However, carrots are not an appropriate substitute for tomatoes in a Greek salad. It's just not the same.
*sigh*
Just not the same at all.

Well, that's a relief...

Usually, when I blog, it's about stupid things.
The beauty and the randomness of life that amuses me.
Lately it's been radio silence.
It's not that I stopped noticing all the quirks of life; it's just that something else loomed larger in my thoughts. Something real. Something I couldn't laugh away or ignore.
But something I did NOT want to talk about... for a variety of reasons, some fair, some unfair.

There has been a gray cloud casting a shadow over my life for the last six weeks, but finally, the weather has cleared up and it looks like sunny skies ahead. Or at least sunnier than it has been.

Six weeks ago, I went for my yearly checkup to my OB/Gyn and she noticed a lump in my right breast. (Sorry guys... this may be painful for you) I had noticed it, too, it was part of the reason I made the appointment. But, I wasn't sure that it wasn't my imagination. I've lost so much weight over the last year and a half, my breasts feel weird to me.

The doctor wanted me to have an ultrasound, so I did. I had the ultrasound the Wednesday before I went to Hawaii. The radiologist confirmed that I did indeed have a "mass" in my breast. Great. What a fun note to jet off to Hawaii on, but I just tried to put it out of my mind and enjoy the trip anyway.

When I got back, that Tuesday I had a consult with the surgeon my doctor uses to have biopsy done on the masses (Yep, sigh, there were two). The surgeon wanted to just go ahead and remove both of them "since I'm so young" instead of just taking a sample from them. Who am I to argue with the big, bad surgeon? So, I agreed and the surgery was scheduled for this last Monday.

Before the surgery, I had another ultrasound where they put these wires into my breast to guide the surgeon to the masses. They give you anesthetic, so it doesn't really hurt, but it's a weird experience to be surrounded (it took three of them... I guess they were hard little buggers to pin down) by strangers who keep poking me in the breast. Then there was the actual surgery. I don't remember any of that, thankfully, but they tell me all went well.

It has been surprisingly smooth sailing since then. I was very achy and sore for the first 24 hours and I'm actually surprised that it doesn't really hurt much now at all. Then, there was the waiting. Tick-tock. They said they would call me. I've jumped every time the phone rang at work for the last two days. Tick-tock. Finally, today at 11, I called them. It was three days already. Three days of, well, the surgery is over, so do I have cancer or not? Just tell me already!

You should have already guessed by now that I don't. They were benign. There you go, it's in writing now for you, if that makes you feel better.

I'm not going to lie, this whole ordeal has been scary... more like terrifying. Catching a glimpse of your own mortality is somewhat life affirming, but mostly panic inducing. I kept going over it in my head. 4 out of 5 women who have this surgery do not end up with cancer. I am only 27 and live a fairly healthy lifestyle, so the odds are in my favor. But then there were the other thoughts, 1 out of 5 women does get cancer. I didn't always live a healthy lifestyle. What if it's me? Everybody thinks it's not going to be them, but obviously sometimes it's somebody. Best case scenario: I have benign tumors in my chest. Not really a great scenario in my humble opinion.

Some of you may be rather vexed with me for not telling you about any of this earlier. And I love you, but it wasn't your call to make. I can understand your feelings, if it was the other way around I might be annoyed, too. But, it's not your life and it wasn't your medical crisis. So, I have to deal with things the best way I can. The way that it makes it easiest for me to cope with it, not you.

Hopefully, now, things can get back to normal and I'll be able to blog about silly things again like Top Chef (even though it's over now and Stephanie won... Yay!!) or the music they play at my gym (Still Delilah, BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

It's quite a relief now that the ten ton weight that has been sitting on my shoulders has finally been removed. Now, I can get back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Oh yuck, yuck, yuck!

These news stories make me nauseated.
I cannot imagine doing this.
Just reading about it makes me want to run far, far (far!!!) away.
Yucky!

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/15/garden/15buddhists.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin
http://www.slate.com/id/2192282/?GT1=38001

Are the walls closing in on me, or is that just my imagination?
Back away, slowly! More than 15 feet away, preferably.

Hawaii

Well, I'm back from Hawaii. I spent (apprx) 6 beautiful days on Waikiki beach.

I've tried several times to recap all the stuff that happened there, but there is no easy way to do it. The little moments generated stories too big, the big moments generated stories too small. There was a lot of good and some bad. Overall, I would say that the three of us had a good time.

This next part is just for the three of us. Some key words that will always remind us of our trip. For the rest of you there is a slide show of all our pictures from the trip at the bottom.

Duke's Canoe Club
Red Devils
Carlos
"No kids, no kids!"
"That's funny"
Ah! Mai Tais and a massage... that's living!
Tyler, Sist-A's stalker
Outsourcemanuals.com
"Hotter than swiss bread..."
Sist-A is scary and frightening to young men, especially in the military
Sis-C learns to barter
"A Chevy Blazer, you say?"
The duty-free store that attempted to eat me and Sist-A... I think it exists in a rip in time and space
The Marines are a part of the Navy? No fucking kidding!
"I have a high tolerance for pain.... (*time passes*) Never, never again!"
*Sigh* Edward
"All that flash in front of me"
"I forgot my snorkel" - Sist-A at the top of Haunauma Bay.
"Well, your salad isn't really vegetarian. There are anchovies in the dressing. What? I thought you knew!"
Natasha, the Russian spy... "Da"
ABC Stores
Spray cheese
Burger King "Cheesy Tots"
Why are there so many groups of dudes hanging out together on this island?
No, thanks, I don't want your balloon or the Conga... Let's get out of here!

There was other stuff too, but I cannot for the life of me seem to remember it at the moment.
(Sist-A, let me know if I missed some things...)