Orange Glow

FakeBake Barbie was on my treadmill tonight.

It kind of annoyed me.

Not because I couldn't use the treadmill. I don't run on Tuesday nights.

I just don't want her using my stuff.

Probably left a coat of orange all over it.

Sigh. I know I'm just being silly. She'd only leave a coat of orange on my machine if she spray-fake-baked. I think she actually destroys her skin instead.

Probably shed her diseased skin all over it.

Eww. Hopefully, the Y's disinfectant will take care of that.

Stretchy

So... stretching, what's up with that?

There are two guys at my gym who spend substantial amounts of time stretching.

CollegeKid stretches sometimes downstairs, sometimes upstairs by the treadmills. But, it's not uncommon for him to spend a solid 20 minutes stretching before he runs.

TallGuy stretches downstairs. He spent at least 40 minutes stretching tonight. He started when I was about 5 minutes into my run and then he was still stretching when I left. Why does he need to stretch for so long? At some point, aren't you stretched already? I don't know that I even know enough different ways to stretch that I could find a way to fill up 40 minutes.

It did provide some amusement for me tonight though. TallGuy had a rubber band thing that he used to stretch by wrapping the end of it around his shoe. He lifted up his leg with it and the rubber band slipped off and snapped him in the face.

I tried not to laugh (out loud), but I'm pretty sure I snorted. It was hilarious. I had to put my face in my hands and look away.

That's what you get for trying to be limber, dude. Suck it up.

That Was Unexpected!

Today was my first real yoga class. Sist-A and I went to a Yoga 101 seminar on Saturday where you learn some of the positions, vocabulary and philosophy, but that was nothing like today.

I have to admit, going into it, I thought it would be easy. I thought it would be a lot of stretching and flexibility stuff, but I didn't think it was going to be a challenge. I'm utterly delighted to find it otherwise. It's exactly what I was looking for when I took that failure of a water aerobics class. 

Things that made me pretty happy about this yoga class:

• To my surprise, I actually broke a sweat
• At one point, my thighs were only holding me up through sheer force of will
• Despite how hard it was, I was still able to go running afterwards
• Turns out that zen hoo-hah stuff actually works. I thought it was kind of crap as she started out with it, but as she talked us through visualizing our stress being released, I felt little pockets of stress in my back give way. Honestly, I didn't even realize they were they until I relaxed.

All in all, I'm calling it a win...

... hopefully, I'm still going to be able to walk tomorrow. 

Times are a changing

Changing is hard. 

This week, I'm going to try to change my schedule so that I can fit yoga into my daily routine. There is a yoga studio near where I work (Bliss Flow Yoga), so I can go during the day or early afternoon. The good thing about where I work is that it's very flexible, so if I want to step out for an hour to practice yoga, no big deal. 

The key is that I have to get up earlier to do it. 

To say that I'm not a morning person is the understatement of the century. 

Imagine a cranky, salty, curmudgeon who likes to rampantly curse about really small offenses. Yeah, that's basically me in the morning. 

So, it's going to be interesting to see how easily I adjust to getting up an hour earlier so that I can afford the time to go do this. 

It takes 21 days to create a habit, so this should only be a pain in the ass until it becomes a habit. I'm just not looking forward to trying to get to bed by 10, so that I can get a decent amount of sleep.

It's day one, and I've already missed 10 o'clock. 

Inner peace here I come? 

Churning Around

Growing up, we had a pool in our backyard.

It's not that uncommon in Texas, but since you asked, Yes, it totally kicked ass. 

My sister and I spent most of our summers soaked in chlorine. We were such water babies. We loved to swim and play around. We had tons of games we would play, underwater tea parties, gymnastics competitions (she cheated, just FYI) and ice cream parlor to name a few. 

Then, we moved up north and BLAMMO, no more water. Oh, I know. There's water here, but I don't really have access to it like we did in Texas. 

So, I was looking forward to trying this water aerobics class I signed up for at the Y. At worst, I figured it would be fun, nostalgic even, for me to spend an hour splashing around. At best, it would totally kick my ass and I'd be sore and barely able to finish, plus all that nostalgic, fun junk. 

As it turns out, water aerobics at the Y equals social hour for middle aged women. Sure, they splash around. Perhaps they aerobicize, I can't really tell what anyone else is doing in the water. But mostly, it's social hour. They all know each other. Apparently, there is also a water aerobics class on Mondays and Wednesdays that they take together. 

Maybe if I was a social butterfly, I would enjoy this and make a whole gaggle of friends. But, it's better to have a more than passing acquaintance with reality, so I think we can all admit, this just isn't going to happen. 

Plus, if they spend the whole time talking, do you think this class has been kicking my ass? Let me answer that for you. No. It isn't. At all. It's ridiculously easy. I've been still doing my regular Tuesday night workout after it because it just too damn easy. 

I may finish out the rest of this class, I did pay $10 whole dollars for it, so I may as well get my money's worth out of it. But, I don't think I'll be back. In addition to the downsides already mentioned, I've seen way too many completely nude middle-aged women today.

It's not pleasant.

It's disappointing because I was really hoping this might be something I could add to shake up the routine a little bit. As it turns out, if you go to the gym and do the same thing over and over (and over and over) again, eventually you get bored. Who knew?

I've been thinking about checking out a yoga studio near where I work for a little lunchtime yoga. And I'd like to drag the husband to visit the climbing gym on the east side. But, I'm not sure what else to do to keep it interesting. 

Something New

We got our summer mailer from the YMCA on Thursday. I've been wanting to try something new for awhile, so I decided to sign up for one of the classes they offered. This is the one I signed up for:

Hydro-Cuff-Core and More

Give yourself an entire body workout! Buoyancy cuffs, strapped to your ankles, engage your core muscles as you burn calories, build full body strength, fine tune your balance, and increase your endurance. This is an excellent cross training workout for beginner athletes or advanced athletes that want a fun and challenging high energy class.

Sounds fun... maybe? Hopefully. Or at least different, which is what I want. According to the mailer, the class started June 22. But, when signed up for it I ended up signed up for the class that begins April 20. 

Yikes! 

That's really soon.

That means I have to go shopping for a bathing suit. Today. 

Because Trivia is next weekend, so this is the only day I've got to go.

Double yikes!

Wish me luck.

Flirty Girl

I'm watching a commercial for Flirty Girl Fitness. It kind of makes me want to vomit. 

But, what? What's that you say? If I order now, I can get a bonus copy of "Booty Beat"?

Well that's just irresistible. 

What does it mean?

There are several people at my gym, most of them teenage boys, who wear shirts that say "TC is my Homeboy" on the back. 

What the hell does it mean?

I've tried googling it and I got nothing.

Is it some sort of acronym? Is it really obvious and I'm just missing it?

I would be much happier if I could figure out what it means without having to ask one of them, because that sounds awkward. On the other hand, I really just want to know what it means already. 

Disappointment

I got a couple of iTunes gift certificates for Christmas, so I was trolling around tonight looking for some new songs to beef up my workout mix. I'm always looking for new songs for my workout mix. Anything that can get my butt moving and keep it moving is gold. 

I like to check out some of the iTunes essentials because, honestly, it saves me work. There are usually songs of the same type grouped there together, all nice and neat. I was pleased to see that the iTunes Essentials page even has an entire section devoted to workout music. 

I was not that pleased to see what was on some of these lists. It makes me wonder if the people making these lists even work out on a regular basis. 

I'm sorry, but neither Because of You (Kelly Clarkson) nor You're Still the One (Shania Twain) qualifies as a workout song. No matter how you spin it, they just don't. 

Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. 

Consequences

After yesterday's adventure in snow shoveling, my back is helluva sore today. I had to skip no less than 5 weight lifting machines today because they involved (in any sort of minor way) back muscles. 

Usually, I lift at the gym 3 times per week.

You would think that those muscles I've spent the last year and a half building up would be good for something. But, no. I'm pretty sure they're just for show.

ETA: Just so you know, according to blogger spell check I spelled "helluva" correctly, which made me curious, so I checked dictionary.com.

Helluva

-adjective, adverb

hell of a, Compare heck

It's a real word. Who fucking knew?

What the hell are you doing?

I went to the gym tonight. Big surprise, right?

I was upstairs on the elliptical when some kid came up to run on one of the treadmills. 

Oh. My. Lord!

I have never heard anybody run so loudly in my life.

Imagine someone banging on a piece of sheet metal with a hammer. 

Well, that would be quieter than this kid running on the treadmill!

I'm not kidding. The sound echoed throughout the whole fitness center. 

The husband ended up on the elliptical next to me (which almost never happens). We caught each other's eye a few minutes into this kid's run and I could barely keep a straight face. I kept giggling at random intervals, whenever listening to the kid run got to be too much. 

I watched him out of the corner of my eye for awhile, trying to figure out how exactly he was able to get it to make so much noise. I have no idea what the hell he was doing. 

Pleasant Surprise

Plan for the worst, hope for the best is usually my favorite course of action.

So, in preparation for going to the gym tonight I set my expectations low.

I was prepared for it to be overcrowded with the most annoying of the temporary gym goers. Instead of the usual type with a short-lived desire to "get into shape", the post-Thanksgiving gym goers are merely there to do penance and assuage some gluttonous guilt. 

I tried to be good-ish on Thanksgiving, but I didn't really deny myself anything. So, I was prepared to pay the price for my own sins. 

However, I was pleasantly surprised. The gym was at pretty average capacity, and I got to use my favorite treadmill. Yay! PLUS, instead of gaining holiday weight, I lost 0.8 lbs. 

The human body is a fucked up thing. I keep trying to figure it out. I keep trying to make it make sense, but it doesn't. 

I can be good for weeks on end and everything stays the same. I'm moderate to bad for two days and there's a loss?

The Upside/Downside (depending on your point of view) to having a good night at the gym?

I was actually smiling, so three or four people said hello to me. Sigh.

This may have set back my image as an unfriendly badass for years. For years!

Thankful

In honor of the day and to spread a little good karma around, here are a few things I am thankful for:

1. Our home loan

Sometimes it takes my breath away to think how close the husband and I came to being caught up in the current housing crisis. Buying a house is hard and confusing. We made a lot of mistakes when we were buying our house, but the one mistake we didn't make was taking out an ARM (adjustable rate mortgage) on the house. Our loans are fixed rate, which we decided on because I am suspicious of anything that is "adjustable." Looking back, it could have so easily gone the other way. 

I'm thankful to have a home that I can afford to pay for. 

2. My job

Times are hard economically. People are being laid off. Jobs are hard to come by. Good jobs are even harder to find. My job is not my passion. It isn't something I ever thought I would do. That being said, it's a good job. I'm good at it. It's a job that makes use of a lot of my natural talents and gives me an outlet for some things I really enjoy doing. It's stable. 

I'm thankful to have a job I can count on. 

3. My Gym

I don't know what I would do without the gym. I don't know what I did before the gym. There are so many benefits. It relieves stress. It's part of living a healthy lifestyle. It makes me feel good about myself. All of the ladies at the front desk know me at the gym. I think if the husband ever tries to do away with me and cover up my murder, the ladies at the gym will be the first to notice and alert the police. 

I'm thankful for my gym and everything that goes with it.

4. My iPod

I love my iPod. I've told the husband on several occasions that if anything happens to it, that we will have to find the money to replace it because I'm not going back to an iPod-less life. It has introduced me to so many new songs and artists. It entertains me on the way to work. It helps me block out my co-workers. It keeps my ass moving on the treadmill. 

I'm thankful for my little red buddy. 

5. My co-workers

I know. I should be grateful for my family and friends before I'm thankful for my co-workers, but frankly I spend 40+ hours with them every week. They have the ability to make my life miserable. The great thing is that they don't. The Saint shares my workload. FancyTalker is helpful and makes me laugh. GameBoy listens to me and is a good collaborator. JR just plain old rocks. Even the Hammer is supportive and a good co-worker. 

I'm thankful for the people who hang with me in the trenches. 

6. My sisters

It's strange. Sis-C is nothing like Sist-A, and yet they are two of the closest people to me. I have always said that Sis-C and I are different sides of the same coin. We are so different in our tastes and outlooks, but at our core we are much the same. She knows me better than anyone else. It's good that we have each other, because there are very few people who get the jokes we have for one another. Sist-A, on the other hand, is my little grasshopper. It's often strange and eerie how much we have in common. We've really gotten to spend more time with one another this year and grown a lot closer, which makes me really happy. 

I'm thankful for two awesome ladies who I love very, very much.

7. My dogs

My dogs make me happy. They are sweet, loving and cuddly. There is not a mean bone in any of their furry little bodies. They are naughty and spirited. They trust me to take care of them. All they require from me is food, water, being taken out and a few belly scratches. I adore my rotten angels. 

I'm thankful for my doggies who give so much and expect so little in return. 

8. My friends

I pay attention to people. Some people find it disconcerting because I pay attention when people talk and I notice what they do and remember what they say. So, when I say that all my friends are really good people in their own way, I mean it. I'm not just saying that because we are friends. There are these little moments when they do something kind or sweet or generous and it makes my heart melt, just a little bit. 

I'm thankful that a really great group of people continues to hang out with the likes of me. 

9. My family

My grandfather sends me cards every so often because I send him cards every so often. They kind of break my heart. He is really trying to make an effort because he wants me to know that he appreciates the effort I'm making. My dad is brave, taking on a new mortgage and a new business in unsure economic times and to my knowledge hasn't had a complete melt down about it. My step mom is always taking care of everybody but herself. My mum is supportive, always. 

I'm thankful for these people were in my life by fate, and are in my life by choice.

10. The husband

Always the husband. My playmate and partner, I never appreciate you as much as I should. We've been together so long sometimes I forget what it's like to see you. I'm really a terrible wife and marrying me is not evidence of good decision making on your part. Yet, for whatever reason, you seem to love me anyway. Sucker. You're stuck with me now. 

For what it's worth, I'm thankful for the husband, who I love endlessly. 

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! 

My Eyes are Bleeding

Gentlemen! Here is a fashion tip from me to you:

Do not wear colorful underwear underneath white spandex shorts.

White spandex shorts (in case you didn't know) are not opaque. 

I can see EVERYTHING, even though I can assure you, I do not want to. 

To the older man at my gym who loves white spandex shorts, please stop. 

I can tell you're the saucy type, after all you love neon green and navy blue underwear. 

But, the thing is, you're making my eyes bleed. 

Trooper

The gym has been kicking my ass lately. 

I was finally able to do my entire run at 7 m.p.h. again today. 

For the last week or so, I've had to take it down to 6 m.p.h. at about the 21 minute mark whenever I run. 

I don't know what was wrong with me. 

It sure as hell wasn't easy to tough it out today. 

I had to convince myself to keep running in 5 second increments. 

Only 6:55 left... 6:45... 6:40... 

You can make it. You can make it.

I am not weak!

Lookie-Loo

Stupid gym.

They've added tables in both the fitness rooms for schmoozing  potential new members. 

It's fucking annoying. 

Go somewhere else. 

Don't watch me run, Jackass. 

Mind your own business. I'm trying to lift here!

No seriously, quit watching me run and lift. 

(I'm not being vain or paranoid, they sit at the stupid table and stare at everyone working out. Sometimes me, sometimes someone else. Better someone else than me.)

I can kick your ass. 

I run and lift... while you clearly do not. 

Sigh.

Fine. 

I'll see you around for the next week, while you attempt to be the kind of person who "goes to the gym."

Hope you enjoy those gym fees for the next year. 

Stay off my treadmill. 

I really wish they had put these damn tables somewhere else. 

Do they really need to be in the fitness center? 

Bitchy, bitchy, bitchy.

That's not an apology, it's a warning. 

Running it Out

Tonight was a pretty good night at the gym, which was nice for a change.
My right knee has been really tight when I run lately. It's taken around 7 minutes for it to loosen up. Boo.

It really hurts, so I'm actually going to up that one to a Double Boo.

I wonder if it was the time I took to try to carefully stretch out my knee before going to the gym that did the trick? Or maybe it was the four ibuprofen I took?

Working Hard and Hardly Working

Tomorrow morning is the big deadline at work.
Luckily, I have been totally on top of my game lately and I was done yesterday.
It's nice to be out from under this for the moment.
Unfortunately the next deadline is only 2.5 months away.
That may seem like a long time, but we really only get a months worth of testing, so it goes really fast.
Plus, my girl is going to be out of commission for another month, so I'll still be flying solo for a while yet.
Boo. (Yea for her, boo for me).

Tonight was a good night at the gym though. I stepped it up to run at 7 mph pretty much the whole time. I have been working up to this for awhile. So, it was pretty awesome that I was able to go at it for the whole time.

Also good, the annoying girls from Monday and Tuesday were missing, which meant I got to run on *my* treadmill as opposed to the one downstairs. Yay.

The only downside is that Tats was missing for the third day in a row. The gym is so much more fun when there is eye candy on display.

All in all, work is wrapped up and I'm feeling good about my progress at the gym. It was a pretty good day. Too bad it's Wednesday, which means there are two more days to go until the weekend.

Two more days until I get to play at Sephora and go out with the fam for my birthday.
Sigh.

It shouldn't annoy me, but it does

I went to the gym tonight to work out on the elliptical.
This is important to the story.
I was not planning on using the treadmill.
There were two girls using the treadmills I usually use.
They were using them last night, too.

Okay, I know it's petty and wrong. But I kind of hate them.
The one girl was running on the treadmill so slowly she might as well have been walking.
The other actually was walking.
Not just walking, but walking slowly.

Just watching them annoyed me.
Mostly, because I think it is only the beginning of what I hope is a short-lived trend.
I've seen their type before. They get all "serious about going to the gym" and they come everyday for a week or so, then nothing.
I really hope this is their type.
I really hate running downstairs.

Petty, petty, petty.
I know it's wrong.
I hate having my routine interrupted.

Go ahead. Get serious about going to the gym.
Just don't inconvenience me please.
Really, it's best for everyone if I don't even realize you exist.

I keep trying to shake it off.
Meh.
It's no big deal. Don't sweat it.
And yet, still, it annoys me.

Tired

Sometimes when I go to the gym I feel strong. I can feel the strength in my legs, heart and lungs. I work hard and sometimes push myself harder.

Then, there are those other nights. Nights where I feel weak. My knees and hips hurt. My lungs constrict and my heart pounds. Tonight was one of those nights. I was on the verge of puking the whole time I was on the treadmill. With 3 minutes to go, I had to work very hard to keep the contents of my stomach in place. I felt like a bull... or a cow I guess, since I'm a girl... in a china shop while running. I barely kept going. The only good thing I can say about tonight is that I didn't give in and slow down. I stayed running at my usual pace.

Even if the body is weak, the mind can be strong.