Crankiness, A Gateway Drug

I often find that when a little crankiness finds its way into my life, more is to follow.

Yesterday, someone at work took a document I own (along with 2 others) and edited it. It doesn't annoy me that he edited it, but that he didn't ask or tell us about it. Now, I'm trying to sort through what was changed and it's very irritating. I exercised a certain amount of will power to not say anything to him about it... I think he thought he was being helpful. It's not nice to chastise people for attempting to be helpful.

Today, I was talking to a girl I'm friends with and we were talking about a variety of things, one of those things was a particular person that we both know. Although I believe that he is a nice person, he can be very annoying and do things that are sort of unintentionally offensive. He has made some questionable choices lately, especially in relation to my friend. Everything we said was true and none of it was said in a malicious way, more of just a venting, and underneath it all we don't really mind him after we've vented. I still feel a little karmically bad about it, but in my defense I'm always very nice to this person, which is about the most you could ask in this situation.

Now, the Accounting dept of my company is bugging me about something I find a little irritating. To sum, they covered a particular expense before and changed the policy without letting anyone know. I had to erase the email I was writing about 4 times.

I read this article about will power, how each time you use it, it becomes progressively weaker. I think it comes to the same thing with controlling my temper. Each of the situations above, annoyed me progressively a little more. I don't get mad that often, but I can have a wicked temper, if it actually comes up. It burns hot, but short and I usually feel bad about it. So, I try not to put myself in situations where I can lose my temper.

I'm glad I'm going to the gym tonight. I need to burn off some of this stress and negative energy. Hmmm.... maybe I need to say some nice things about people in order to balance myself out. Right the ship, so I can continue on with out all this negativity.

Here are some nice things about people I know:

1. The husband is a really hard-worker. He is so dedicated and is always under appreciated by everyone, including me. He loves me so well. He deserves everything good in the world.
2. My dad has a really generous spirit. I strive to be more like him in this aspect. He does things for people just because he wants to make them smile, without expectations of what he might get in return.
3. My mom is a really great listener. She listens and advises, without judgement. She just lets me talk out whatever is on my mind. I wish I were as good a listener as my mom.
4. Sis-C is strong. She isn't afraid to admit to her mistakes and try to make them better. She is always striving to be a better person. She inspires me to try a little harder as well.
5. Mr. Blume is brave. He is putting his ideas and weight out there for everyone to read and judge. I wasn't nearly that brave when I started to try to change. I admire his ability to be so forthright.
6. Sist-A is a fighter. She has had a hard couple of years. I don't know how she has managed to deal with everything that has been on her plate. A lot of people would take advantage or feel sorry for themselves, but while Ash may get down occasionally, she isn't out. I don't know if I could do as well as she has with everything. She inspires me not to feel sorry for myself.
7. Mrs. Blume is resilient. She knows why. I don't think I would handle a similar situation with as much strength as she did. I admire that.
8. Khaki Republican is a nice guy. I sent him a message of condolence recently and he actually took the time to write me back. He puts up with my sister (I love you Ash!). He puts up with our family. I have a sneaking suspicion he may be a decent human being. None of which means that if push came to shove, I wouldn't beat him up for Ash. :)
9. The Saint is a great co-worker. We can talk shop and personal stuff seamlessly weaving between the two. I enjoy talking to her about non-work stuff, but she's been the greatest boon to my job since I started at Epic. She has taught me so much stuff that is difficult to figure out and she is a great sounding board when you need to talk out the solution to a problem.
10. Poppie (my grandfather) is a sweetheart. He is the nicest man I know. It warms my heart every time he calls one of his granddaughters 'sugar'. Ever since my grandmother died, I've tried to send him notes or postcards every couple of weeks or so. Occasionally, he writes me back. His cards are the sweetest thing. He is such a gentle soul. I smile for days after I hear from him.

I'm not sure I believe in karma, but writing all this had really made me feel better. I had sort of a heavy, negative feeling when I came home from work, but now I'm feeling much more positive and happy.

Have a great day and may your karma be good!